6 Years Ago Today.

Today is just a random Saturday to many of us. The start of the weekend. A day to sleep in… catch up and make memories.

Six years ago on this day in June after another night of black out drinking… I woke up on a tear-stained pillow realizing change was a must.

I had been down this road before. I had conquered my demons, had challenged booze and won… but had I?

I remember seeing my sneakers laying in the corner, the laces were so bright and beautiful.

My head was pounding. My heart was heavy. My addictive thoughts were already trying to convince me “I don’t need to quit” and to crawl back to the darkness where I was safe from reality, humility, admission, and repair.

I stumbled out of bed, so weak I could barely stand up. Beads of sweat rolled down my face.

I made it to the mirror, and with every amount of strength had left in me… promised myself I would set out to beat this disease, and spend the rest of my days helping those who felt hopeless do the same.

I managed to tie my laces, and go out to the place where my healing journey began… the open road. As I worked the steps of this book… the steps on that asphalt became my best friend.

It listened intently, it spoke to me softly, and it showed my healing and recovery was possible… one run at a time.

Today is just a day to some… but to me, it’s everything.

2,193 days of taking my life back… doing the deep shit work of admitting my own crap, and pushing to become better.

I am forever grateful to the people that took my hand when I was weak, that loved me unconditionally through my worst, and who I still count on today to help me stay accountable.

Like a sunflower, even on my darkest days… I stood to face the light.

Recovery is not only possible… it’s wonderful.

Journal and Reboot Challenge

Good morning! I just finished a killer strength training workout and now will spend some time journaling.

Life is ever changing. Our goals change, our priorities change, our understanding of happenstance and circumstance change.

The older I get, the more I long to be reconnected to a place of familiarity, a place in my being where I know I’ve been, yet have had a hard time reaching it in this fast paced world.

Over the next several weeks, you may not see me post as much. I will be diving into some books that have been eagerly calling my name for months.

I will be writing, and focusing more on meditation and a deeper relationship with my creator, and less on reels and the constant scrolling I do which interrupts my daily productivity.

I encourage those who want to reset and reconnect to take this journey with me.

Buy a journal, buy a book today. Make a plan for better eating habits. Press play on a workout. There are tons of free workouts on YouTube offering any style and fitness level you need.

More importantly, clearing our heads of the constant construction in our minds… news media, garbage posts, and our inner voice negativity. To do this is pivotal to finding peace.

Practice writing daily in the lined pages of your book. Create your story. See how minimizing the need for constant interruptions can quiet the noise in your mind. Do this in the hope of rediscovering the joy we all seem to desperately scroll to find.

Be good to yourself. The past is done, but the future has been waiting patiently.

We want instant results. We want the now gratifications. We want the free gifts, we want the attaboys… but will we compromise to get these?

Do we lose ourselves to find it? Or do we settle in, and focus on what’s been right in front of us the entire time.

It’s amazing how much God will say to me when I just shut up and listen.

Start today. I’ll check in a few days and see how much we are all accomplishing. 💜

The quieter you become… the more you can hear.

Yes, I Can.

June 16, 2017. She awoke with a pounding head… the kind of headache that was all-too familiar. Her mouth was dry, she was damp with sweat both from the booze and toxic food she put in body the night before trying to break their way out. Her tear-stained pillow was just another reminder of her shame.

She had screamed for help… only for her cries to be intercepted by lies, and defeat… shame and unrest.

The light in her bedroom was blinding. She could see the day was one of sun and glorious skies. She couldn’t move… frozen in time for what seemed like eternity, she turned her head to see them.

They were beautiful, full of color and hope. They were begging her, “Please just give us another chance. We won’t judge you, we’ll be patient, and we will show you… what you were meant to become.”

She hesitated… she wiped the last tear that drained. She dragged herself to the corner to where those sneakers would not stop staring at her.

“Tie the laces… get your hungover ass up, and go make a difference.”

I remember that day like it was yesterday.

I don’t know where you are today in your personal journey or transformations. I don’t know what you have been through, what you have hid in shame, sat with in regret… or begged for freedom of… BUT I DO KNOW THIS ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Whoever said you’re stuck is wrong. Whatever is holding you back can be broken apart and rebuilt.

And whenever you hear somebody say “No, you can’t…” the answer is always “YES, I CAN.” 👊🏻🖤

Time Capsule

There are 40 years between these two pictures of myself. As most of us do periodically, I sit back in awe of how quickly time goes… and I continue to ask myself, why am I here?

There are 40 years of experience in these pictures. Forty years of ups and downs, victories and losses. Forty years of trying to discover what my greater purpose is. What is it that sets me apart?

But furthermore, why is my drive to aid people in overcoming their own personal challenges, addictions, and maladies so important to me?

The time spent in between these pictures tells a story of survival, sadness, setbacks determination, perseverance; and most importantly, joy. The roads and pavements of my traveled feet have guided me back to a life I look forward to. The gentle mobility of one foot in front of the other, the quiet push of excitement in my heart feeling alive, have had a restorative effect on my gross wellbeing.

I stare back at that little girl, and wish I could have prepared her for so many of the unforeseen days of disappointments, life’s struggles, and internal tugs of war.

She didn’t know as she was folding her hands in anticipatory excitement, that she would have to battle alcohol and food addiction, and unforeseen trauma. She didn’t know then that it wasn’t her fault, and that God’s plan was so much greater than she ever could have imagined.

Forty years later, I am thriving, and I am well. I know the plans that have been made for me are immense and full of goodness. My dream of helping you will not falter, or be dismounted. My drive to continue to be a wellness influencer, and motivational speaker keeps me alive with determination and intention.

I am a force that’s not easily tamed, I am grateful, and above all… I am living proof that re-birth is not only possible but, wondrous. Now let’s go find some joy…

The Day is as Good as We Make It.

The day is only as good as we make it. I woke up… did my collagen shooter, laced my sneakers, and now it’s time to breathe in some wellness, and exhale some toxicity.

Habits and routines are a critical part of my day. The quiet of the morning, the ink of the pen, the blank page of my notebook paper come first. It is here where I set my intentions for this day.

I let go of what I can’t control, I do my best to forgive my shortcomings, and I let the gentle strike of my felt tip pen ease me into my day.

Seek to create habits that start your day without disruption. Seek approval only from the depths of your longing soul… not the opinion of others. Strive to make the words on your paper a reality, not just empty promises.

My sneakers are part of my story. The answers, the solace, the discipline, and the gratitude they have taught me continue to not only amaze me, but keep me aligned with my purpose… and steady me when I stumble and sway.

Simplicity and contentment are often in the lost and found. We always crave, uproot, and hunt more… for bigger or better. Today, let joy be found in something simple. Find contentment in the ordinary. There is plenty of goodness for you and for me. Go find it.


It is true what they say… that in years to come, the dynamics of your home will change.

This morning, the house is eerily quiet. The kids are grown and out of the house, and as loved ones have passed on… the flood of golden memories flashes through my mind of “how it used to be.”

My heart was broken this morning as this was the first Christmas my beautiful Oreo boy wasn’t heading up the charge to see if Santa brought him his doggie bones… wagging his tail excitedly.

It’s a damp, foggy, drizzly, gray morning here in the Northeast. The kind of day you wish you didn’t have a circadian rhythm that has had you up since 4… but nevertheless, I rise.

So I head out to do the thing that I know will make me feel alive. I lace those sneakers, let the cold drizzle hit my face, and set out to leave it all on the pavement. The pavement who knows the interior of my heart so well, and always has the unspoken answers, or the subtle way of showing me… “it is well with my soul.”

At the top of the hill, I approach a sudden reflection of such beautiful color and shimmer so bright it almost blinds me. I stop for a moment of think of the mess swirled together. It’s a mixture of oils, waters, light beams and refraction… just like life. Even with our chaos, and change, with its messiness, and shortfalls, with our deep heartaches or branded memories, serendipity always shows up at the greatest moments of need to teach us magic, and joy still exist… even on a foggy, dismal day.

As I turn the corner to finish the last leg home, I hear the echo of my father’s favorite song… “and I think to myself… what a wonderful world.”

Merry Christmas to all my beautiful friends and family. Find the serendipity today. It always shows up when you need it most.

The Eve

I find myself on this day feeling no sense of madness or rush. I awoke to a surprise dusting of snow making the “real feel” of this holiday just a little sweeter.

I don’t have all the things that money can buy. I don’t have millions in the bank, I don’t have a yacht or a boat, (I do, however, have enough sneakers to fit Southeast Asia)… but what I do have can not be measured in pounds, ounces, stones, dollars or cents.

I have a life that has been filled with many blessings. I have learned the hard way, I have climbed out, jumped in, clawed and fought. I have won some, lost many, but amidst my trials can not believe how very kind life has been to me.

I have a family that no matter what believes in unity, love, and tradition. When one hurts we all hurt. When one wins… we all win… which is rare… and beautiful.

I have a job doing what I love, and regardless of the ever changing face of the nursing profession, I have had true friends, and the opportunity to work with some of the most kind hearted doctors and nurses in this world.

I have had the chance to help the lost, the lonely, the sick, and the addicted… and I will never forget the valuable lessons in stigmas, humility, and understanding that they have taught me.

Today, I try to remember the true meaning of this Eve as I await to celebrate my Savior’s birth.

Presents and holiday traditions will commence. The tables will be set, fancy plates, and silver polished forks will gleam. While these things are lovely… may we all reflect on just how lucky we are to be here… even in these times of unsettlement and uncertainty. And may we never forget all the sacrifices of forefathers, our patriarchs and matriarchs who have taught us our traditions.

Today on this Eve I run for peace, for acceptance, for understanding, for your blessings and mine. For Hope, and for future, for our children, and their children… and but most of all… for love.

Merry Christmas Blessings to all.

Creating Joy Through the Chaos

Mayday Monday….

As the holidays draw closer with each passing day, most of us continue life as normal. We trim our trees, wrap gifts, bake cookies, and celebrate the true meaning of the season…

But what about those who are struggling? I want to talk about this because so many of us at this very moment are in a space of mental entrapment. 

One of us on this very day wakes… and struggles with not taking a drink. One of us has lost a loved one, a pet, or is mourning someone who is still alive. 

One of us is facing a job loss. A father is struggling to feed his family. A veteran is struggling to tie their own shoes. 

A woman is closet eating in shame, and another is carefully applying makeup to hide the bruises. 

Somewhere a child is feeling the brutal effects of a bully. The narcissist continues to gaslight, and still the world turns without a missed beat.

Feeling or creating joy through chaos and trial is tough. It’s a daily challenge to not let these things define us emotionally or physically. But all is not a lost cause…

Wake up and pray for someone even if you don’t know them. 

Go visit a veteran. Smile, listen to their truths and tie their shoes if they need it.

Take a walk with a friend, and listen. Don’t assume, don’t judge, don’t react… just be the ears they are desperately trying to find.

Donate to your local women’s shelter. If they are there… believe me when I say… it took courage beyond measure to get there.

Send a card of encouragement to a friend, and cut the ties of those people, places, and things whose only agenda is derailing yours…

The greatest gift you can give yourself this year is the gift of helping someone.

Not everyone faces the same lot in life. I don’t know the reasons why… but I do know this. Kindness goes a long way. Small things add up to big things, and the sum of it all = greater human decency. 

Be someone’s Mayday today… even if it’s your own.

#RUNBEFOREYOUFLY #remembertheseason #besomeonesmayday

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Wishing you peace, comfort and joy this holiday season from Run Before You Fly.

Steady as she Goes.

Something about the wind comforts me. Not too much wind, or too cold wind, but a gentle wind that takes me to a place of peace.

As I stepped outside today, the wind greeted me. There was a familiar yet unfamiliar smell that takes me back to a place of nostalgia. It reminded me that I’m alive to feel all the things… the good, the bad, the comfortable, the uncomfortable.

The wind allows me to sway, it moves me with force… yet it eases up just enough until I gain my footing again and can continue to move.

We will always loose our footing. We get unsteady, we swerve, we stumble across places that both unearth feelings of deep questioning, yet serve our souls to accept grace and become better people.

Move about, sway from time to time, force yourself into those places of pondering. Realize just how miraculous this life is. Accept what your challenges are, and be determined that no matter what… when we practice, smile, and persist… we will find our balance.

Steady as she goes. Amen.

The Gray Area.

The Gray Area… is the place between black and white. It’s the place where truths are discovered, hurts are healed, tears are wiped, and love wins.

It’s the place that tore me apart, made me whole, begged me to stop and forced me to go.

It’s the place where hatred was laid to rest, forgiveness was born. Where the glistening of the pavement, and the sounds of my feet hitting it… set me free.

It’s the place where dreams are made, wishes come true, and miracles do exist.

Yes… I love color. I love all things beautiful and bright… but may we never forget the simplistic value of what we learn in between the black and white.

Blessings, Loves…