Embrace What You Can’t Understand.

Where are my overthinkers?

On my recovery walk today… my mind starts to overtake me. Back to the same old questions of “Should I have? Can’t I just be like? Is this way wrong?”

Why do we do it to ourselves? I shake my head and breathe.

I remind myself that no matter where this moment leads me, or how this day unfolds, I am exactly where I am meant to be.

Part of growing and seeing success is to remind yourself of the hope that lives in you. Our greatest challenge is often our mind.

I hear the birds… I see the beautiful wildflowers… and they remind me that this day is a gift.

They are natural born survivors, and so are we.

As my mind relaxes… I think of just how lucky I am to be here. How my path is not what I would have chosen but how my purpose proves otherwise.

Sometimes what we do understand is the best nourishment for your soul.

6 Years Ago Today.

Today is just a random Saturday to many of us. The start of the weekend. A day to sleep in… catch up and make memories.

Six years ago on this day in June after another night of black out drinking… I woke up on a tear-stained pillow realizing change was a must.

I had been down this road before. I had conquered my demons, had challenged booze and won… but had I?

I remember seeing my sneakers laying in the corner, the laces were so bright and beautiful.

My head was pounding. My heart was heavy. My addictive thoughts were already trying to convince me “I don’t need to quit” and to crawl back to the darkness where I was safe from reality, humility, admission, and repair.

I stumbled out of bed, so weak I could barely stand up. Beads of sweat rolled down my face.

I made it to the mirror, and with every amount of strength had left in me… promised myself I would set out to beat this disease, and spend the rest of my days helping those who felt hopeless do the same.

I managed to tie my laces, and go out to the place where my healing journey began… the open road. As I worked the steps of this book… the steps on that asphalt became my best friend.

It listened intently, it spoke to me softly, and it showed my healing and recovery was possible… one run at a time.

Today is just a day to some… but to me, it’s everything.

2,193 days of taking my life back… doing the deep shit work of admitting my own crap, and pushing to become better.

I am forever grateful to the people that took my hand when I was weak, that loved me unconditionally through my worst, and who I still count on today to help me stay accountable.

Like a sunflower, even on my darkest days… I stood to face the light.

Recovery is not only possible… it’s wonderful.

Memorial Day Race: Tortoise and Hare 5K in Wind Gap, PA

Today is a day we race to honor all those who have and continue to fight for our freedoms, liberty, and our safety.

The sacrifices you have bravely suffered is a debt that can never be repaid.

This weather doesn’t usually work in my favor, but today everything clicked. To be able to podium after a long fight of trying to get it back after Covid feels wonderful.

There is magic in every mile… and happiness at every finish line.

Lucky are those who find joy on the pavement.


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Contentment.

This morning’s run was hot and steamy. Air quality alert… 95 percent humidity. Fog densely covering the familiar greenery.

Yet it was one of those mornings where you feel connected and contented.

Passing the local farmer walking with his grandchildren, the friendly waves of my neighbors who see me out here daily, and familiar curvatures of my back roads… all give me a sense of belonging.

I hear the humming sound of the tractors… hear the sounds of nature and I can’t help but feel happy.

Today is a hot, cloudy, murky day… but even still… what a gift ❤

St. Luke’s Half Marathon 2022

Today wasn’t about PR’s or disappointments, or expectations or failures. It was about a community of runners racing a live race… some, for the first time in years due to Covid.

To say that I am HAPPY is an understatement! This course presents hilly challenges, and while today is absolutely picture-perfect… the sun out bringing the heat sometimes can get this fair-skinned girl in trouble!

When my feet hit the starting line today, I reminded myself how lucky I am to get to be here. (Truth is, I forgot I was running this race up until about 2 weeks ago when someone reminded me 😂😂.)

I took a minute to come to terms with the fact that I am still working hard to get my pre- Covid pace back. And in that moment, I remembered that no matter what, my love of why I do this, and what these miles have taught me… are true gifts that no pace-setter, medal, or timing chip can ever take from me.

With that I looked up, asked my Dad to guide me and mouthed “This one’s for you.” ❤️🐞 The last mile I was tired but steady… and asked my Dad to get me around that stadium to the finish line.

I finished in 2:11:57. My dad’s birthday was 2/11; sometimes it’s the little things that bring you the greatest joys.

A big thank-you to my dear friend Josh DeVoe who listens to my mouth 🤣, and who pushes me out on those roads to never give up. And of course to Davey who cheers me on, believes in me, and never stop making my dreams possible. ❤️Today is a good day!

Mailbox to Mailbox.

What are you looking at, Suzanne?

I am looking at the face of someone who was taught fear comes first… and boldness comes later.

I am looking at the inner being of a little girl who knew even before life showed her that she was going to lead by transparency instead of tragedy someday.

I am looking at the face of a woman who let the lies of the bottle and the fake ingredients of processed crap hijack her mind daily.

Lastly, I am looking at my heart’s reflection. I see a journey of a woman who literally was saved “Mailbox to Mailbox” as her sneakers pounded, her sweat ran, and her lungs breathed her back into being.

Find the souls that speak your language, so you waste not one minute translating your spirit. And may the space between where you are and where you want to be never stop inspiring you 💛.

That. Is. All. 👊🏻

A Glorious Mess.

She is a glorious mess of what-ifs and used-tos. She continually tells her story as if the whole world is listening. She is messy but kind… bold and deliberate… yet soft and purposeful.

She knows her endurance is neither too strong nor too weak… and she knows that to win her race of life, she must balance between raising the bar, and steadily pacing her feet.

Oh, how those inner voices try to persuade her that it won’t matter in the end… but she knows it will… she sees her goals… and she is going to continue to fight like hell to crush them.

When you stop dreaming, it’s over. See it… want it… believe it… and don’t you ever stop reaching for it.👊🏻

THAT IS ALL 💙.

Speedwork.

I had Covid in December. It knocked me flat on my ass, quite frankly. As a runner… it took me years to develop speed, to train wisely, and set the goal of my dream someday… the Boston Marathon.

It wasn’t until about mid-January that I could start to slow jog again. By February I got back out there to try and start increasing my mileage to what it was.

My point… my pace is way off from where I left it… My joy, however, my love of this pavement… the lessons of what these cracks and bends in it have taught me… and my drive to train even harder… and come back stronger is amplified.

Sometimes you have to step back… see the bigger picture. Give thanks for where you are… be grateful for your true friends who inspire you, who encourage you, and who believe in you.

Dust settles… I don’t 👊🏻. Focused and ready… we’ve got some training to do.💜

Stops Along the Way.

The space between where you stand now and where you dream of landing is filled with many stops of uncertainty along the way. I am thankful for every setback, every tear, and plea of why me.

I am thankful for what my addictions allowed me to see, and why I never want to return there again. I am thankful to able to learn, and grow… to breathe and push my body to limits I never thought possible.

I am thankful for the first pair of running sneakers that humbled me… embarrassed me… and stayed patient as I navigated myself to a rebirth of health, appreciation, and love for the unspoken guidance of my paved roads.

Life wakes each morning with ten new reasons to quit, to surrender, to grumble, and to avoid. Be the one reason you prevail. Live thankfully… the end 👊🏻.

Yes, I Can.

June 16, 2017. She awoke with a pounding head… the kind of headache that was all-too familiar. Her mouth was dry, she was damp with sweat both from the booze and toxic food she put in body the night before trying to break their way out. Her tear-stained pillow was just another reminder of her shame.

She had screamed for help… only for her cries to be intercepted by lies, and defeat… shame and unrest.

The light in her bedroom was blinding. She could see the day was one of sun and glorious skies. She couldn’t move… frozen in time for what seemed like eternity, she turned her head to see them.

They were beautiful, full of color and hope. They were begging her, “Please just give us another chance. We won’t judge you, we’ll be patient, and we will show you… what you were meant to become.”

She hesitated… she wiped the last tear that drained. She dragged herself to the corner to where those sneakers would not stop staring at her.

“Tie the laces… get your hungover ass up, and go make a difference.”

I remember that day like it was yesterday.

I don’t know where you are today in your personal journey or transformations. I don’t know what you have been through, what you have hid in shame, sat with in regret… or begged for freedom of… BUT I DO KNOW THIS ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Whoever said you’re stuck is wrong. Whatever is holding you back can be broken apart and rebuilt.

And whenever you hear somebody say “No, you can’t…” the answer is always “YES, I CAN.” 👊🏻🖤