Category: Never Give Up

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Embrace What You Can’t Understand.

Where are my overthinkers?

On my recovery walk today… my mind starts to overtake me. Back to the same old questions of “Should I have? Can’t I just be like? Is this way wrong?”

Why do we do it to ourselves? I shake my head and breathe.

I remind myself that no matter where this moment leads me, or how this day unfolds, I am exactly where I am meant to be.

Part of growing and seeing success is to remind yourself of the hope that lives in you. Our greatest challenge is often our mind.

I hear the birds… I see the beautiful wildflowers… and they remind me that this day is a gift.

They are natural born survivors, and so are we.

As my mind relaxes… I think of just how lucky I am to be here. How my path is not what I would have chosen but how my purpose proves otherwise.

Sometimes what we do understand is the best nourishment for your soul.

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6 Years Ago Today.

Today is just a random Saturday to many of us. The start of the weekend. A day to sleep in… catch up and make memories.

Six years ago on this day in June after another night of black out drinking… I woke up on a tear-stained pillow realizing change was a must.

I had been down this road before. I had conquered my demons, had challenged booze and won… but had I?

I remember seeing my sneakers laying in the corner, the laces were so bright and beautiful.

My head was pounding. My heart was heavy. My addictive thoughts were already trying to convince me “I don’t need to quit” and to crawl back to the darkness where I was safe from reality, humility, admission, and repair.

I stumbled out of bed, so weak I could barely stand up. Beads of sweat rolled down my face.

I made it to the mirror, and with every amount of strength had left in me… promised myself I would set out to beat this disease, and spend the rest of my days helping those who felt hopeless do the same.

I managed to tie my laces, and go out to the place where my healing journey began… the open road. As I worked the steps of this book… the steps on that asphalt became my best friend.

It listened intently, it spoke to me softly, and it showed my healing and recovery was possible… one run at a time.

Today is just a day to some… but to me, it’s everything.

2,193 days of taking my life back… doing the deep shit work of admitting my own crap, and pushing to become better.

I am forever grateful to the people that took my hand when I was weak, that loved me unconditionally through my worst, and who I still count on today to help me stay accountable.

Like a sunflower, even on my darkest days… I stood to face the light.

Recovery is not only possible… it’s wonderful.

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Arm Yourself with Kindness.

Sometimes when I reflect back, I can’t believe how my journey has unfolded. This is not about what you weigh or what your size is.

I have learned that the representation of a number to our self worth is BS… and being connected and comfortable in our skin comes in beautiful forms of all shapes and sizes.

This is about treating yourself with kindness.

I spent half of my life nearly drinking myself sick. I allowed foods that were not serving me to rule my decisions, and give me a false sense of comfort. I lived in a rat race of comparisons, instead of allowing grace to move in for healing.

On occasion I still may wobble… life sometimes tries to sway me back to a place that I know will leave me empty and without joy.

Arm yourself with kindness. Focus on feeling your best, leading by example. Shut the toxic opinions of others out, and choose what is best for you.

Today the sun is shining. My head is clear. My body is fueled with nutrition that I can pronounce, my coffee is hot, and I’m grateful for another day.

Don’t overthink it. Don’t wish your life away. Don’t false-idol the people who you think have it all. Start simple… be kind to yourself… and be amazed where that takes you.

~ From the Diary of What Running and Life Have Taught Me


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Finding Your Freedom.

Joy is subjective. How we reach it and what we choose to do with it when it lands in our arms is based on our beliefs and experiences.

This route I’m on tonight is a road I have walked and run countless times… the bends… the cracks and splits in the pavement… the familiar landscapes, and trees… the same fallen down fence, and tiny creek that has displayed both softness and fierceness, takes me through the pages of my personal story.

I have taken this road through many roadblocks, setbacks, and milestones. I have walked this road through tear-stained eyes of “just another” attempt at sobriety and healthy living.

I have prayed incessantly on this road for new beginnings and purpose. I have revealed my deepest secrets and regrets here, and have found overwhelming contentment is my success and healing.

Tonight, as I look to all the sights and sounds that have embraced all my metamorphoses… I am simply thankful that I get to tell my tale.

I get to give back and spread hope… and most of all, that my joy was not in front of me or behind me… it wasn’t beside me or gone from me… it was there all along… inside of me.

Scream your story from the rooftop… someway… somehow… someone needs to hear it. Amen.

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A Glorious Mess.

She is a glorious mess of what-ifs and used-tos. She continually tells her story as if the whole world is listening. She is messy but kind… bold and deliberate… yet soft and purposeful.

She knows her endurance is neither too strong nor too weak… and she knows that to win her race of life, she must balance between raising the bar, and steadily pacing her feet.

Oh, how those inner voices try to persuade her that it won’t matter in the end… but she knows it will… she sees her goals… and she is going to continue to fight like hell to crush them.

When you stop dreaming, it’s over. See it… want it… believe it… and don’t you ever stop reaching for it.👊🏻

THAT IS ALL 💙.

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New Growth

She is reminded like the rain of spring… of the new growth that prepares for her. We have all weathered some awful events, stood through tragedies unforeseen, and crawled to reach for a rung on the ladder to lift us upward to health and wellness.

Be ready to reset your standards, tolerate less BS, and prioritize your daily routine to secure victory, not defeat. Live with purposeful choices, instead of weak intentions. Run the race designed for you. Speak your truth in love and honesty… and do not give your demons permission to hold your happiness… they will drop it every time.

My passion is in my sneakers, my teacher is the pavement, and my power is in me. Life has been waiting for you. Isn’t it time? Go meet her, she is ready to give you all you desire. 👊🏻🤍

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Stops Along the Way.

The space between where you stand now and where you dream of landing is filled with many stops of uncertainty along the way. I am thankful for every setback, every tear, and plea of why me.

I am thankful for what my addictions allowed me to see, and why I never want to return there again. I am thankful to able to learn, and grow… to breathe and push my body to limits I never thought possible.

I am thankful for the first pair of running sneakers that humbled me… embarrassed me… and stayed patient as I navigated myself to a rebirth of health, appreciation, and love for the unspoken guidance of my paved roads.

Life wakes each morning with ten new reasons to quit, to surrender, to grumble, and to avoid. Be the one reason you prevail. Live thankfully… the end 👊🏻.

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75 Hard Challenge

What am I learning on this 75 hard challenge?!

I am learning that a gallon is a lot of freaking water 💦.

I am learning that discipline demands a better attitude, and that we can challenge ourselves to do better. 👍

I am learning that 10 pages of a book 📖 at night when you’re exhausted can feel like a 100 pages.

I am learning that doing this means I am not comparing myself to anyone else… but for the personal improvement of my being. 🧘🏼‍♀️

Stagnation creeps on all of us. Do not permit the unsettlement, the lack of understanding, or the fear of the unknown stop you from believing and achieving. 🥇

Set yourself apart. Do the things that hurt… and smile while you’re doing them 🎟.

That is all.

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An Intentional Life

An intentional life accepts only things that do not serve yourself or others. Embrace only those things that will add meaning.

Seek only what adds to the value of your being. If your soul is searching, there’s a reason. Do not let your existence slip through the hands of doubt and fear.

You are here to live with intention, to love with open arms, and to pursue the blueprint that was designed for you.

Believe in something greater, something unseen, something better… it’s out there waiting for you to land softly.

Wait not another day to create your dreams and work your goals into action.

Onward…

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Obedience Vs. Obstacles.

She was a lone survivor of her own maladies for many years. Day in and day out, she shuffled through the overcast world of her mind. Sure, she could find little segments of normalcy in between her constant starring role titled You’ll Never Get Out of This Place… but nevertheless, she prayed.

She had belief systems that were false. She had been led down a road that taught her life was mainly full of negatives, and that magic and splendor were only for magazines and television. The alcohol and processed food pled their case daily… promising her a comfortable place to unpack all her loneliness.

She continued this ludicrous pattern of destruction for years until one night in the darkness of trying to rest, a voice echoed in her mind. “Seek obedience to overcome your obstacles.”

You cannot repeat the same pattens of dysfunction and expect a new result. Yes, you can become unstuck from the fly trap of your demise. But this doesn’t come without obedience within yourself.

It doesn’t happen without a battle between good and evil, necessary versus unnecessary… a mix of laughter and pain.

When your desire is working in you, there is nothing capable of stopping what you can become. Something will always show up trying to halt your progress, and keep you trapped. Stay obedient to yourself. Fuel your body with goodness, and allow your reflection to tell the story.

Nevertheless… she prayed.

She is right here. She is me. She is 5 years sober. She is healthy, and fit. She can be you, too. Don’t give up.