Category: Writing Therapy

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Happy Place.

Once a year, the countdown on my calendar begins. I mark my beach vacation in a special color. I wait with anticipation to get to this place. A place of sweet summer smells, crashing waves, and miles of sand to toss my cares to.

The sea for me is cathartic. It amazes me. It’s gentle and sweet one minute, strong and powerful the next. It’s a place where I release all my worries. Reflect on where I have been, and pray for better days ahead.

This morning as I was running on the boardwalk, I watched the people. I see each of their faces. Some are young, some are battered, some are aged with wrinkles, some are sun-soaked, some smiling with excitement, some are deeply troubled with sadness.

I think about where they may have been in life, what their story is. Why has their journey led them to this place on this day?

I will be using this time to spend with my family, to stay off social media… as I do find that once in a while, I need to rest my mind from all of the world.

Disconnect back into myself, journal, work on my writing… and truly return to the days when being at the beach was a time worth waiting for.

Take time for yourself today. Hit the reset button, disconnect from everyone else’s crap, and focus on what is right in front of you.

Life is short… the beach is timeless, and a period of restructuring ourselves and quieting all outside noise is a must for continued spiritual growth.

Get up and get after life today. 💙. Amen.

#hopedealer #shuttingdownmymind

Follow along as Suzanne Swanson takes us through her transformation from addiction to athlete. Find support and healing in your own life! We’re sending Suzanne’s blog updates via email along with a daily dose of motivation. Don’t miss the next post… delivered straight to your inbox.

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My Father’s Daughter.

This morning I set out for my 15-mile training run.

Today was rough… humidity at 98%, and an added challenge to run without music for that distance to allow time for truly resting my head from purposeful noise… and just allowing nature’s music to be the background today.

It’s these days I often think of my Dad in heaven. So many thoughts are going through my mind…

Happy that he’s at peace, a little jealous that he doesn’t have to deal with the stressors of what’s around us. Heartbroken that I can’t ask him advice on how to deal with certain things…

But even still as I round the corner to finish this run, I know he is looking down… proud at what I have overcome, smiling at who I am becoming, and glowing because his lifelong harsh but gentle teachings are woven in me.

“I am my father’s daughter.”

Fifteen miles of “I-get-to-wake-up-and-do-what-I-love…”

Life has really been good to me. 💙Amen.

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Reflections

Today is my rest day. Today is my day to allow myself the much-needed physical break of pushing my body to its limits the previous week. Today is necessary and needed.

Today my mind is tired, too. As much as we try our best, we can easily get caught on the racetrack of uninvited thoughts, fearful imaginings… temporarily stuck on the rewind button of would’ve and should’ve… or the fast forward button of the what-if’s.

We forget to stay in the right now… in the very present moment.

My job as a nurse can be mentally taxing. Covid is tiring. It’s exhausting. I try my best to trust in what I know, to help those even who are bitter, and to stay grounded in my roots and beliefs that led me to this field.

My Job as Mom makes me question my own choices at times. I ask myself, am I teaching my children how to survive in a crazy world? Am I teaching unconditional love? The worry never ceases, yet with faith as the foundation… I know they will be just fine.

In pausing… I ask myself, did I make the best food choices I could last week? Did I run my heart out with pure love and joy of what my sneakers allow me to accomplish? Did I practice diligence and perseverance?

I can get in my own way. My head space can be annoying, relentless, and a pain in the ass. But my mind teaches me. My thoughts can be changed. I can look at life any way I choose. I have control of what I put in my mouth. I stay sober, I eat right, and I try my best.

Give yourself permission to feel… to question… to make adjustments.

Allow time to sit alone with your soul. Ask it what it needs, and then allow the universe to help you get there. Reflect unto others your gifts.

Reflect often and softly, reflect clearly and wildly… be gentle with your decisions, and forgiving in your results.

Amen 🖤.

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What Does it Take?

A reader writes in:

“Suzanne… I want to transform my life, but what does it take?”

It takes raw transparency and admission. It takes sleepless nights, and self-evaluation. It takes brutal honesty, and a solid moral compass.

It takes sacrifice, selflessness, and sanity. It takes 4 a.m. wake ups, and sweat, and tears. It takes humbleness, and acceptance, and an openness to learn.

It takes less outings, and more sleep, less processed shit, and more whole foods. It takes pushing yourself, and pavement, and pride.

It takes simplicity, and serenity. It takes less ego and more higher power. It takes more giving and less receiving.

It takes willpower, and determination. It takes big dreams and ditching small-minded thinking. It takes love, and hope, faith, and trust.

Yeah… that’s what it takes… all of it.

Take it or leave it… but believe in you. Believe in what your soul yearns for, and believe with all of this… anything is possible.

Amen ❤️. #hopedealer #transparency #transformationjourney

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Wherever You Go, There You Are.

There is an old adage that says “Wherever you go, there you are.”

We cannot escape the truths within us. We cannot run from our disjointed problems or fears. We can only try to mute the demons that show up to destroy and derail every good amount of progress we make.

It took me years to realize, life isn’t perfect. The ebb and flow of our emotions can take a toll on us. Treat yourself and others with loving kindness as you move toward your transformation.

I love running, I love to push my body to limits that I know are crazy. I fight hard to balance my nutrition, and work tirelessly continue to walk the tightrope of this crazy ass society… BUT most importantly, I’ve learned to take a breath.

Stop and stare at wildflowers, look out onto the lake and appreciate its gentle stillness. Life is passing us by and will wait for no one.

Be diligent in your work. Be accountable to yourself as you embark on crushing your goals, but always remember “wherever you go, there you are.”

So learn to be willing to accept where you are, change what you can, and love who you are unfolding to become🖤.

#manifestmonday #runnersstories #unfoldinyourjourney

Follow along as Suzanne Swanson takes us through her transformation from addiction to athlete. Find support and healing in your own life! We’re sending Suzanne’s blog updates via email along with a daily dose of motivation. Don’t miss the next post… delivered straight to your inbox.

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No Excuses.

Fulfillment Friday…

My old life was a mess. My terrible habits. My lack of respect for myself and others brought me to a place of unhappiness.

I tried numerous times to get my shit together with little result. I was lonely, fear-struck, overweight, sick, stuck, tired, and deflated.

4:30 am used to be the time I would just be crawling into bed along with my regrets and whisky stained tear drops… praying to stop my insanity.

Today at 4:30 am I was sipping my rocket fuel… getting ready to slay double digits down the boulevard.

You want to be transformed? Good… let’s go. 🖤

You want to be fulfilled… take my hand and I’ll show you the way. Amen.

“Wake Up, Beauties ~ It’s Time to Beast”

#hopedealer #runningmotivation #fullfillment #dontmakeexcuses

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The Road to Self-Worth

The responses I have received from my Run to Change Lives interview have truly been overwhelming and sincerely heartfelt. I have received many messages today on the subject of self-worth and how did I use my love of running to help me achieve it?

We are conditioned to feel less than. We have been taught to try harder, to “erase and try again,” to hesitate when we are given an opportunity to better ourselves, and that we are selfish when we put ourselves first.

The open road, and my running sneakers have given me back what other people, and certain concepts have tried to repetitively take from me… my self worth.

To make progress, allow yourself the wonderful endowment of self-acceptance. You have been given a gift. You were made for a purpose.

You are allowed to sit in both places of uncertainty, and places of great unrest .

You are allowed to sit in unsteady moments, and stand taller when you have rebuilt the foundation that once tried to crumble you.

The open road will listen, will push you, will be gentle some days and fierce the next– but it will guide you to regain your own love, life and trust back.

Whether it’s the park, the track, the mountains, the pavement, the bicycle, the pool, the yoga mat… take all your lack of’s and should be’s there.

Discard them one by one… and when they come back… let them visit but NEVER invite them to stay again as they no longer serve a purpose. Amen.

🖤#selfcare#selfworth#hopedealer#restday

Follow along as Suzanne Swanson takes us through her transformation from addiction to athlete. Find support and healing in your own life! We’re sending Suzanne’s blog updates via email along with a daily dose of motivation. Don’t miss the next post… delivered straight to your inbox.

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Serenity Sunday…

Often times I think we forget the power held in a little serenity. We are always expecting, wanting, striving, pushing for more, for better, or the next best.

On my 12-mile journey this morning, I thought about the power in having stillness, and enjoying what is… in this very moment.

Giving ourselves permission to lift the expectations of what others think is a must. Giving ourselves permission to just be grateful in the moment changes not only the outcome, but allows a clearer view into our own looking glass. It is here where we are surprised at how simple serenity can undo the plans of our destructive robber in minutes.

Waking up clear-headed without a hangover, well-rested, for me is serenity.

Seeing the beautiful sunrise… waving at familiar faces… and getting to wake up and do what I love… is my serenity.

My body was strong today. I felt good and alive and accomplished… yet I surrendered. I allowed the present to just be. I let the “what if’s” go to hell, and the voices of the naysayers drift off to a place I ain’t visiting.

Let it all go this morning. Surrender. Be. Exist. Find your serenity today 💙.

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The Porch.

Every once in a while I take time to visit my porch. It’s a quiet place looking out into farm fields, the road I run every day, and the occasional passerby walking their dog.

This porch has tremendous meaning. It used to be the place where I would drink as much alcohol as I could, eat too much crap, and dwell in self-pity about how I wanted my world to change so badly. It was a place to contemplate how much I hated the choices I was making in my life.

My porch today takes on a much different meaning. I sit out here now so incredibly grateful for the lives I’ve touched, and those who have steadily helped me get here.

I log my running miles, reflect on my training, meditate and focus on the things that I aspire to be. I give thanks for the universe and God, and I appreciate everything spiritually.

I seek stillness, all while sober, healthy, and knowing that I can dream, be, and achieve anything I damn want to…

My porch was a place I used to dread visiting because I knew the sadness that was tear-stained on its wood.

Today my porch sees and witnesses a different me. The wood of its foundation is solid and strong, tough and weathered… just like the woman who sits there now and rejoices. She is me… and she is happy 🖤.

Follow along as Suzanne Swanson takes us through her transformation from addiction to athlete. Find support and healing in your own life! We’re sending Suzanne’s blog updates via email along with a daily dose of motivation. Don’t miss the next post… delivered straight to your inbox.

Sign up to hear from Suzanne via email here.

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Visibility.

Did you ever stop to think how scary it can be to have your visibility dimmed or hidden? One minute you can see the road ahead, the next you’re following your gut, keeping the faith that you will sway gently with curves, relying on familiarity, and trusting that with each step… although foggy, you will get to your destination?

This morning’s run started out very dark, misty. Visibility was poor. I run these roads every day, I know them like the back of my hand… yet when our visibility is stripped… things appear different, even feel different.

I thought about faith on this run, and how sometimes we simply must trust. We have to believe in something greater… something better… something wonderful. Knowing that if we are just patient enough, the path will be lit and the view is incredible.

The last half of this run, the sun crept up over the horizon. The pavement was suddenly clearly marked, and the view between the trees was breathtaking.

Life can have poor visibility. We can for a moment be in dark places… but in these moments, hug the corners, rely on something bigger and greater, and have faith that your path will light.

We learn in the fog, and become a beacon when it lifts. Amen. 🖤#walkbyfaithnotbysight

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