Category: Writing Therapy

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Running, and My Why for Doing It.

The essence of who I am begins with my why. Why do I fight so hard to try and change lives? Why do I fight so hard to stay committed to my health and wellness?

The Run to Change Lives family has been a warm and friendly place to share all our journeys, our sorrows, and our victories. It has been pivotal in me sharing my story, and offering hope to all those who are lost.

People ask me all the time, “WHY DO YOU RUN?”

I run when life is suffocating me, and the open pavement provides strength and air to breathe.

I run to pray for all of those who reach out to me for guidance… for those who feel as if their life has nothing left to offer.

I run in times of confusion, when I’m stuck and torn between the strings of my heart verses the soundness of my brain.

I run to dream. I hear the Boston Marathon crowd in my head.

I envision the spectators, I can feel the course, and close my eyes and feel the victory of this accomplishment.

I run to see God’s beauty and all the things that daily I take for granted.

I run to hear nature, and for a moment in time… just simply be in awe of how our earth spins, and that I get to be a part of it.

Finally: I RUN TO CHANGE LIVES. AMEN.

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Rise, Phoenix, Rise.

This road before me challenges me today. It speaks to me. It tells me that I if I want to continue to rise like the Phoenix, I must remember a few key things…

My relationship with myself is one of the most important jobs I must continue to cultivate. I must never allow my happiness to depend on another person, place or thing. I am responsible for my creating my own inner joy.

The body war, image struggles, inner food choice fights, and mental sabotage are only a thought away from being used for good. I can change my thoughts and create behaviors that make me well, vibrant and full of life.

I’ll admit it: these past few days, some old feelings, and that familiar knock on the door of derailment have been loud….

BUT today this badass is up and ready. She allowed herself a minute… she comforted her soul, she accepted what was, and now she is ready to close the door, and RISE.

This picture of my road and the breathtaking view of what God created… reminds me that I am on a path to victory. RISE, PHOENIX, RISE 🔥

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Overcome, Not Over-Complicate.

The triad you see in this picture is all me, however each image reflects stages of my journey. Each picture depicts truth, and displays spiritual, emotional and physical transformation.

As a child, my smile was real. Happy thoughts of mud pies, laughing with my best friend, and reading my favorite books were all I needed. Life was simple. The cruel world, awful people, rotten concepts of thinking and hatred remained dormant and had not reared their ugly heads.

The middle picture was after life had truly pulled the rug. Negative influences, compiled with tremendous self-loathing was driving the car. Addictions to food, alcohol, and hating myself comprised my daily ritual.

I was stuck. I hated myself. I played the game, forced half-hearted smiles, and repeatedly begged for God to use me for good.

The last picture is a woman who found her joy, wakes up happy on purpose, and chooses to feel and experience all life will offer her. This road behind her has taught her that instant gratification is bullshit, and ordinary moments, wide-smiled surprises, and a random chat with someone at the grocery store is what life is all about.

Take time out today to do what you love. Be ever so gentle with yourself… but own your crap. Decide that today is the day you start over.

Overcome, not over complicate – and may who you are designed to be shine brighter today.

CARPE DIEM!! 🖤

#HopeDealer #AnyQuestions #runningmotivation

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The Next Right Thing.

So here’s what I’ve learned and what life has taught me. My transformation is far from over.

Life has taught me to accept that we are only as good as our choices. It has taught me that only our own hearts know our truest intentions. It’s taught me that exterior beauty doesn’t mean a thing if your inner soul sucks, and that we can only keep living and preaching our truth.

My road is still at times bumpy– and at times I could easily let 80 proof do what it does and numb what I think I can’t face… yet I don’t choose it.

I could let the lies and unkindness of others puddle around me…. yet I don’t choose it. I just need to continue to step my feet to the next right thing… and I know my destination will end at a place of wellness and joy.

Running saved my soul… but I chose to save myself.

Whatever you face today, and wherever you are in your personal transformation… keep doing the next right thing and may your journey tell a story of greatness 🖤.

#transformationtuesday #hopedealer #preaching

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Be the Change

💙BE THE CHANGE💙… This morning as I was lacing up to head out and enjoy the gift God has afforded me… I thought about something very important: the power of our words.

I can’t post names for obvious reasons of confidentiality… but I want to share this…

To the woman who sent me a private message yesterday, admitting for the first time that alcohol is overtaking her…. don’t give up. I have stood where you stand…. there is hope 💙.

To the person who private messaged me yesterday feeling the lack of self-worth and confidence to stand up to her own enemies… I have stood where you stand… there is hope. 💙

To the brave soul that messaged me yesterday who stepped on the scale for the first time in a year, feeling depressed, defeated, but with a new sense of purpose she hadn’t felt in a while… I have stood where you stand… there is hope.💙

To the man who has recently shared some of his life with me, the pain of not wanting to live, the deep hurts of overthinking, and wanting to numb himself from this world… thank you for revealing a part of you with me… and yes, there is hope 💙.

Our words our powerful. Kindness is free, and lending a helping hand can change the world… literally… one person at a time.

I don’t have all the answers. I struggle, I sit with heavy things, too.

I fear, I pray, I contemplate, I hope, I trust, I love. You want to see a better world? Then stop complaining and let’s “Be the change.”💙

This run is for the wonderful people who have touched my heart… you know who you are.

Now let’s get it!

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Run and Be Happy!

For me to become a better athlete, and keep churning at the handle of my personal and professional goals, to ensure my sobriety, and integrity… I need to always meditate to put life in its proper position.

Conflicting thoughts on nutrition, running gear, beauty products, financial plans, life strategies can cause massive chaos to our thoughts if we allow it.

People will always show up on your doorstep of life to inflict their opinions or “two cents” of *their* being into *yours.* Do not allow such individuals to interfere with the trajectory of your journey.

We face adversity together. We can get through uncertainties by the hands and bodies of our personal experiences, and by our very own truths we have allowed others to view.

When the road is bumpy, stay on it.

When you feel like you can’t run, walk, or jog another inch… go three inches. When you see the walls crumbling… believe that when that wall falls, it leaves a new space for unimaginable growth you never thought possible.

Today I am grateful what each of you bring to the table. Your stories, your jokes, your humility, your honesty, your progresses, your setbacks.

All teach us that we are listening…and we can overcome. We all motivate differently. We think differently, we run differently… we set different goals, and that is okay.

Today’s meditation brought up some superior points. Just do your best… don’t be a shitty human being… and never stop being who you are. 🖤

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16 Miles and Smiles.

She looked softly in the mirror at the woman she once was.

She forgave herself for all the lies she told and believed about her beautiful soul.

She made food her friend… using it to heal and fuel her body.

She said goodbye to her booze addiction that betrayed her beyond measure, but not without letting it see how much good she has used it to teach the world that healing and recovery are possible.

This morning she woke at 4:45 am to run 16 miles. She is disciplined. She is strong. She is kind. She is me.


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I Choose.

I choose…

To live by my standards, not society’s.

To live by choice… not by chance.

To be motivated… not manipulated.

To be useful… not used.

To make changes, not excuses.

To excel for myself… not compete with others.

I choose self worth, not self pity.

I choose integrity over conforming.

I choose peace over bullshit.

I choose me.

What do you choose today?

#hopedealer #changeisgonnacome

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Run for Humanity.

Today I run for our soldiers. For our heroes. For our men and women who have given tirelessly and relentlessly for my freedom and for my protection.

Today I run for this world, and how unbelievably broken it is. I run for those weary, and struggling. For those who are broken and sick. I run for our forefathers and what they fought for. I run for humanity and kindness for all humankind, of all skin colors, ethnicities, and race.

I run for peace, and to ignite unity. I run to understand ignorance and to pray for patience. I run for to seek clarity of a world that I admit I am sometimes fearful of and disgusted by.

I run today for this land that I love. Thank you, heroes… military, fire, police, first responders, doctors, nurses, pastors, truck drivers, clerks, gas station attendants, teachers, waitresses, waiters, lineman, mental health counselors, and everyone else who I didn’t mention…

I RUN FOR US ALL TODAY. May we continue to love, to be kind humans, and may our spirits be filled with a united love for all mankind…❤️💙🇺🇸.

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Metamorphosis

Metamorphosis…

As a child, I was carefree, with a zest for life. I didn’t know about responsibility then, or have worry. I didn’t understand the concept of adulthood, paying bills, raising children. I didn’t know about the harshness of cruel people, who the taxman or bill collector was, or that I would soon walk the road to darkness.

In my early to late adulthood, I was taught the hard lessons of love, the fear of crippling anxiety, the sadness of the battle with the bottle, the raw truth of feeling less than.

I felt the defeat of being overweight, the sadness of lack of joy, and had an overwhelming dreaded falseness that I could not become who that little girl on the left dreamed of.

In my midlife, I found the love of running… and today I inhale gratitude with each breath.

I welcome joy, I preach hope. I tell the booze to shut up and lay down. I make my choices. I decide who stays and who goes, and I will choose peace over bullshit every time.

Faith leads the way. Hope lights the path, and perseverance steps you there.

Take a step… take a breath… and find your way to your metamorphosis 🖤.

#hopedealer #IAintDoneYet

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