Category: Writing as Self Therapy

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16 Miles and Smiles.

She looked softly in the mirror at the woman she once was.

She forgave herself for all the lies she told and believed about her beautiful soul.

She made food her friend… using it to heal and fuel her body.

She said goodbye to her booze addiction that betrayed her beyond measure, but not without letting it see how much good she has used it to teach the world that healing and recovery are possible.

This morning she woke at 4:45 am to run 16 miles. She is disciplined. She is strong. She is kind. She is me.


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I Choose.

I choose…

To live by my standards, not society’s.

To live by choice… not by chance.

To be motivated… not manipulated.

To be useful… not used.

To make changes, not excuses.

To excel for myself… not compete with others.

I choose self worth, not self pity.

I choose integrity over conforming.

I choose peace over bullshit.

I choose me.

What do you choose today?

#hopedealer #changeisgonnacome

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Run for Humanity.

Today I run for our soldiers. For our heroes. For our men and women who have given tirelessly and relentlessly for my freedom and for my protection.

Today I run for this world, and how unbelievably broken it is. I run for those weary, and struggling. For those who are broken and sick. I run for our forefathers and what they fought for. I run for humanity and kindness for all humankind, of all skin colors, ethnicities, and race.

I run for peace, and to ignite unity. I run to understand ignorance and to pray for patience. I run for to seek clarity of a world that I admit I am sometimes fearful of and disgusted by.

I run today for this land that I love. Thank you, heroes… military, fire, police, first responders, doctors, nurses, pastors, truck drivers, clerks, gas station attendants, teachers, waitresses, waiters, lineman, mental health counselors, and everyone else who I didn’t mention…

I RUN FOR US ALL TODAY. May we continue to love, to be kind humans, and may our spirits be filled with a united love for all mankind…❤️💙🇺🇸.

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Metamorphosis

Metamorphosis…

As a child, I was carefree, with a zest for life. I didn’t know about responsibility then, or have worry. I didn’t understand the concept of adulthood, paying bills, raising children. I didn’t know about the harshness of cruel people, who the taxman or bill collector was, or that I would soon walk the road to darkness.

In my early to late adulthood, I was taught the hard lessons of love, the fear of crippling anxiety, the sadness of the battle with the bottle, the raw truth of feeling less than.

I felt the defeat of being overweight, the sadness of lack of joy, and had an overwhelming dreaded falseness that I could not become who that little girl on the left dreamed of.

In my midlife, I found the love of running… and today I inhale gratitude with each breath.

I welcome joy, I preach hope. I tell the booze to shut up and lay down. I make my choices. I decide who stays and who goes, and I will choose peace over bullshit every time.

Faith leads the way. Hope lights the path, and perseverance steps you there.

Take a step… take a breath… and find your way to your metamorphosis 🖤.

#hopedealer #IAintDoneYet

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Happy Place.

Once a year, the countdown on my calendar begins. I mark my beach vacation in a special color. I wait with anticipation to get to this place. A place of sweet summer smells, crashing waves, and miles of sand to toss my cares to.

The sea for me is cathartic. It amazes me. It’s gentle and sweet one minute, strong and powerful the next. It’s a place where I release all my worries. Reflect on where I have been, and pray for better days ahead.

This morning as I was running on the boardwalk, I watched the people. I see each of their faces. Some are young, some are battered, some are aged with wrinkles, some are sun-soaked, some smiling with excitement, some are deeply troubled with sadness.

I think about where they may have been in life, what their story is. Why has their journey led them to this place on this day?

I will be using this time to spend with my family, to stay off social media… as I do find that once in a while, I need to rest my mind from all of the world.

Disconnect back into myself, journal, work on my writing… and truly return to the days when being at the beach was a time worth waiting for.

Take time for yourself today. Hit the reset button, disconnect from everyone else’s crap, and focus on what is right in front of you.

Life is short… the beach is timeless, and a period of restructuring ourselves and quieting all outside noise is a must for continued spiritual growth.

Get up and get after life today. 💙. Amen.

#hopedealer #shuttingdownmymind

Follow along as Suzanne Swanson takes us through her transformation from addiction to athlete. Find support and healing in your own life! We’re sending Suzanne’s blog updates via email along with a daily dose of motivation. Don’t miss the next post… delivered straight to your inbox.

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My Father’s Daughter.

This morning I set out for my 15-mile training run.

Today was rough… humidity at 98%, and an added challenge to run without music for that distance to allow time for truly resting my head from purposeful noise… and just allowing nature’s music to be the background today.

It’s these days I often think of my Dad in heaven. So many thoughts are going through my mind…

Happy that he’s at peace, a little jealous that he doesn’t have to deal with the stressors of what’s around us. Heartbroken that I can’t ask him advice on how to deal with certain things…

But even still as I round the corner to finish this run, I know he is looking down… proud at what I have overcome, smiling at who I am becoming, and glowing because his lifelong harsh but gentle teachings are woven in me.

“I am my father’s daughter.”

Fifteen miles of “I-get-to-wake-up-and-do-what-I-love…”

Life has really been good to me. 💙Amen.

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Embarrassing Runner Story

LONG HILARIOUS POST‼️‼️ A MUST-READ‼️

Okay, so allow me to be your comic relief on a Sunday Morning. I know most of you expect that my posts are going to be very poignant and filled with valuable information. I have been transparent with you, I have shared with you my story of addiction and obesity.

I have showed you my overweight pictures and struggles… but, today I’m going to share probably one of the most embarrassing things that has happened to me to this date as a runner!!! I’m actually still laughing 😂.

This morning my running partner and I left my house at 5:20 for our 14-mile run. I had attended a beautiful wedding last night, and they were kind enough to have a special vegan dish made for me. It was extremely hot and spicy but delicious, so I ate it all 😂.

This morning I told my running partner that I felt a little off, I had not gone to the bathroom yet… but whatever, let’s just roll with this run and get going.

About 5 miles in my stomach definitely started to rumble and I thought oh my god what am I gonna do? Straight ahead, I see a lime green porta-john and think, “Thank God, he has answered my prayers…”

Now mind you, it’s still very early in the morning. I figured I could hop in, tear it up and get out. Perfect, I say…. who will ever be on these country roads this early!!!!

Two minutes later, I hear a diesel truck pull up– literally what feels like is going to be crashing into the porta potty and I hear “Okay, boys… let’s git this thing loaded up” 😂😂 LMAO.

I start sweating profusely with panic, (’cause what’s happening in there ain’t pretty 🤣🤣). I have to now yell and say “WAIT, THERES SOMEBODY IN HERE‼️”

I open the door and a larger bald man looks at me in disbelief. I just politely say “Sorry about this” and take off running 😂. Ten minutes later, I see the rollback truck pass me with Old Green strapped to the back! I was doubled over in laughter thinking my god, what if they didn’t hear me and I got hauled away to the Land O’ Porta Potty’s…. never to be heard from again.

Things I learned today…

  1. Never trust a port a potty… even if it has a friendly face.
  2. Despite my trauma 😂, I was able to wake up and do what I love. God’s beauty is amazing. I am so thankful to have eyes to see it.
  3. I probably never should eat spicy food like that again.
  4. I will most likely be the topic of discussion at the porta-potty headquarters and I love it😂😂.
  5. I could’ve been abducted into the porta-potty missing persons database and my running partner never would’ve known the difference because he was ahead of me…. saying “I don’t know, she was just right behind me.” 😂
  6. And…. I love my new Run to Change Lives Water bottle.

Be safe out there y’all….. SWANSON OUT!!!🖤

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What Does it Take?

A reader writes in:

“Suzanne… I want to transform my life, but what does it take?”

It takes raw transparency and admission. It takes sleepless nights, and self-evaluation. It takes brutal honesty, and a solid moral compass.

It takes sacrifice, selflessness, and sanity. It takes 4 a.m. wake ups, and sweat, and tears. It takes humbleness, and acceptance, and an openness to learn.

It takes less outings, and more sleep, less processed shit, and more whole foods. It takes pushing yourself, and pavement, and pride.

It takes simplicity, and serenity. It takes less ego and more higher power. It takes more giving and less receiving.

It takes willpower, and determination. It takes big dreams and ditching small-minded thinking. It takes love, and hope, faith, and trust.

Yeah… that’s what it takes… all of it.

Take it or leave it… but believe in you. Believe in what your soul yearns for, and believe with all of this… anything is possible.

Amen ❤️. #hopedealer #transparency #transformationjourney

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Wherever You Go, There You Are.

There is an old adage that says “Wherever you go, there you are.”

We cannot escape the truths within us. We cannot run from our disjointed problems or fears. We can only try to mute the demons that show up to destroy and derail every good amount of progress we make.

It took me years to realize, life isn’t perfect. The ebb and flow of our emotions can take a toll on us. Treat yourself and others with loving kindness as you move toward your transformation.

I love running, I love to push my body to limits that I know are crazy. I fight hard to balance my nutrition, and work tirelessly continue to walk the tightrope of this crazy ass society… BUT most importantly, I’ve learned to take a breath.

Stop and stare at wildflowers, look out onto the lake and appreciate its gentle stillness. Life is passing us by and will wait for no one.

Be diligent in your work. Be accountable to yourself as you embark on crushing your goals, but always remember “wherever you go, there you are.”

So learn to be willing to accept where you are, change what you can, and love who you are unfolding to become🖤.

#manifestmonday #runnersstories #unfoldinyourjourney

Follow along as Suzanne Swanson takes us through her transformation from addiction to athlete. Find support and healing in your own life! We’re sending Suzanne’s blog updates via email along with a daily dose of motivation. Don’t miss the next post… delivered straight to your inbox.

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Perspective.

When self-doubt creeps in and negativity creates a hazy film over our progress… changing our perspective can make a world of difference.

See yourself through different eyes… love who you are. Be proud of the accomplishments and progress you’ve made.

Accept the things that cannot be undone, and continue to march forward, placing the building blocks of your dreams and goals into action.

Self doubt will come. People will try to cloud your vision, and trials of life will attempt to strip you of the faith that is necessary for contentment and peace.

Seek today to be happy on purpose. Know that waking up and trying to be better, moving your body, and mentally seeing your destination is critical to a healthy mindset.

You are allowed to be unsure, you are allowed to self question… that’s where growth comes from. Shift your perspective… simplify the plan, and trust that you are exactly where you need to be your journey today

Let’s make today beautiful…

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