Category: Writing as Self Therapy

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Welcome Home.

Are you ready to shift? How many of us are stuck in what seems like a timeline of never-ending quicksand? Toleration of ideas or thoughts that make us uncomfortable, that spark uncertainty, and allow for dragging of our being… both physically and mentally.

To welcome ourselves home does not mean to give up and just let life “happen to us.” We are the builders and the architects… but more importantly, we are the occupants of our mind, body, and soul.

We must stop looking outward and elsewhere for approval. We must realize that our gifts and talents are unique to us, and we each have a different vessel and source of travel to get where we dream of going.

I was overthinking way too much lately. Letting magazines, commercials, and others’ opinions infiltrate and try to buckle my foundation.

I had to pause, and breathe, and remember that I do not have to stay stuck. I can shift and move onward to being a better athlete, runner, wife, friend, and “all the things” that I cannot wait to accomplish.

Your structure, the way your house is built… is wonderfully designed for you.

You are enough, you have a gift… go find it and share it.

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Go Get It.

Go Get It.

As she pulls the covers back, she notices a faint whisper of all the old voices meant to deteriorate her mind and derail her progress.

Her past buddies of laziness, discontentment, and self pity attempt to follow her to the closet… where her courage, self healing and strength– her sneakers, lay waiting.

She laces up, drinks her rocket fuel… and escapes outside to the pavement of progress.

She glides carefully, one step at a time. She hears the crunching of gravel, feels the slight change in temperature on her skin as she dips in the familiar valley of her back roads. 

It is then she realizes that no thing, no voice, no hater, no critic, no substance can undo what she has… and that is her joy.

She is me, and she is changing hearts and stirring minds… and she is extending her hand for you to come along.

Let’s go get it! #RUNBEFOREYOUFLY

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Path of an Empath.

My story is not unlike that of many others. Beautiful people all around me have shared similar experiences, allowed me to visit their private space of struggle, and let me peer through their personal viewfinder of challenge and uncertainty.

Growing up, I was a kid who had low self-esteem. I struggled with who I was, and where I was headed. Even so, I comfortably knew two things about myself:

  1. I had a deep appreciation and love of books, and reading… of pretty pens and notebooks.
  2. I connected deeply with how people felt. Their sadness, their joy, their happiness or anxiety… I could feel it all… and even at a young age pondered how I could help to fix it.

Circling back through my kaleidoscope of life… I am starting to better understand why I am here, why I had to endure my particular lot of darkness, and how through my re-discovery of healing through writing and running was able to overcome my disastrous relationship with food and alcohol.

I am no longer interested in trivial things that absorb my time and cease my progress. Today, I invest my time in what serves my greater purpose and yours. I am not perfect in my ways, but what I am is dedicated to my health, my mindset, and the well-being of people as a whole.

Don’t quit your daydreams 💭 ‼️ Because when you arrive at the doorstep of believing you can… kick your shoes off… you’re going to want to stay a while.

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Study Your Ingredients

Did you ever stop to think about all the virulent crap we put into our bodies and minds daily? I am not just speaking about foods we ingest, but in all facets of life. We are so conditioned to wake up… hear the bad news of the day, stuff it down, go to work, come home, REPEAT!

I overhear conversations at the grocery store, the gas stations, and the coffee shops all the time. People are on their phones, screaming, wanting more, or demanding less, fighting over yesterday’s deals, and sharpening the blades of their tongues to hurt others.

This year I have promised myself to study my ingredients a little closer, and to really examine who I will let in and who must go. I write down the things that are important to sustain my wellbeing, and how I can choose the better-quality ingredients of life to get me there.

We all need balance. We need a piece of cake once in a while… we need rest days and mind resets. We need retreats and refocus. For years I was too one-sided… all or nothing. I didn’t care about the quality of the ingredients as long as it served my purpose.

Today I am more selective. I am more patient. I am more intuitive with what matters to me and what I will and will no longer tolerate.

I am not just concerned about the quantity of things… but the quality first and foremost. This road, this pavement, these sneakers continue to enlighten and surprise me with their teachings. The time spent on this familiar, yet ever-changing route has afforded me new insight to creating joy… and being happy, just because!

Study your ingredients. Watch out for fake substitutes sneaking their way in to arrest your progress. Settle for less if it means gaining the essence of who are. Today starts with grace and it starts now. Onward… 🖤

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Time Capsule

There are 40 years between these two pictures of myself. As most of us do periodically, I sit back in awe of how quickly time goes… and I continue to ask myself, why am I here?

There are 40 years of experience in these pictures. Forty years of ups and downs, victories and losses. Forty years of trying to discover what my greater purpose is. What is it that sets me apart?

But furthermore, why is my drive to aid people in overcoming their own personal challenges, addictions, and maladies so important to me?

The time spent in between these pictures tells a story of survival, sadness, setbacks determination, perseverance; and most importantly, joy. The roads and pavements of my traveled feet have guided me back to a life I look forward to. The gentle mobility of one foot in front of the other, the quiet push of excitement in my heart feeling alive, have had a restorative effect on my gross wellbeing.

I stare back at that little girl, and wish I could have prepared her for so many of the unforeseen days of disappointments, life’s struggles, and internal tugs of war.

She didn’t know as she was folding her hands in anticipatory excitement, that she would have to battle alcohol and food addiction, and unforeseen trauma. She didn’t know then that it wasn’t her fault, and that God’s plan was so much greater than she ever could have imagined.

Forty years later, I am thriving, and I am well. I know the plans that have been made for me are immense and full of goodness. My dream of helping you will not falter, or be dismounted. My drive to continue to be a wellness influencer, and motivational speaker keeps me alive with determination and intention.

I am a force that’s not easily tamed, I am grateful, and above all… I am living proof that re-birth is not only possible but, wondrous. Now let’s go find some joy…

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Obedience Vs. Obstacles.

She was a lone survivor of her own maladies for many years. Day in and day out, she shuffled through the overcast world of her mind. Sure, she could find little segments of normalcy in between her constant starring role titled You’ll Never Get Out of This Place… but nevertheless, she prayed.

She had belief systems that were false. She had been led down a road that taught her life was mainly full of negatives, and that magic and splendor were only for magazines and television. The alcohol and processed food pled their case daily… promising her a comfortable place to unpack all her loneliness.

She continued this ludicrous pattern of destruction for years until one night in the darkness of trying to rest, a voice echoed in her mind. “Seek obedience to overcome your obstacles.”

You cannot repeat the same pattens of dysfunction and expect a new result. Yes, you can become unstuck from the fly trap of your demise. But this doesn’t come without obedience within yourself.

It doesn’t happen without a battle between good and evil, necessary versus unnecessary… a mix of laughter and pain.

When your desire is working in you, there is nothing capable of stopping what you can become. Something will always show up trying to halt your progress, and keep you trapped. Stay obedient to yourself. Fuel your body with goodness, and allow your reflection to tell the story.

Nevertheless… she prayed.

She is right here. She is me. She is 5 years sober. She is healthy, and fit. She can be you, too. Don’t give up.

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Joyride to Journey

She was a mix of so many ingredients. The batter she swirled around daily inside her wasn’t always pretty, or without messes. It wasn’t always without clumps of regret that needed smoothing, nor without constant effort to seek a better end result.

What it was though… was consistent even when she doubted. And when fear choked her of seeing a bright future… she poured her batter anyway.

I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the more I realize the essence of my timeline here on earth. I softly remember things that hurt, that drove me to change… but I boldly look toward what I am meant for.

And as for my purpose, once clouded but which is now becoming crystal… running the Boston Marathon, building a side business, and the compassionate drive to help those who are lost, lonely and addicted… can’t be accomplished by wishing, and daydreaming.

Sweat and scars, time, and tangible efforts get me there. We are only here for a blink of an eye. Our journey is a tale of our struggles, our whys, our deeper need, and our promise of hope.

It took me 40-plus years to realize the importance of enjoying my journey. Ten years ago, I was 90 pounds overweight, shooting whiskey, and allowing toxic things to erode me from inside out.

I don’t have all the answers, I can’t explain all the happenstances. But I can say this: ponder what it is that’s stopping you from your potential. Discard it, release it, flush it.

Time waits for no one. It’s time to take a joyride 💛.

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The Art of Alignment

Did you ever wake up and think how did I get here? What is life trying to teach me? And why must I stay on this path? For me, this is something I ponder with curiosity almost daily.

As I always try to move forward with Integrity and Intention… my mind wanders back to “all the things.” The whys and ways of my old life. The demand to myself of changing my habits and body. The rawness of exposing my booze addition, my previous obesity, and the hallway of self-sabotage I was trapped in.

The efforts of searching and trusting what nutrition I choose and what supplements I will make a priority in taking are all things that as I age and gain wisdom… become of utmost importance. Alignment happens when we stay in agreement with ourselves… not the wishes of others!

Alignment happens when we pray, we manifest, and we know that the people, friends, acquaintances you are connected with are pivotal in reaching your dreams and goals. The sport I love more than almost anything, has connected me with the most amazing humans. Hard work, grit, sacrifice, kindness, are just the tip of what we have in this community.

Whether you are a runner, walker, swimmer, biker, hiker, yoga teacher, friend, family member, or just along to learn and grow… know your purpose is important, the language of life you speak will be the enlaced in your legacy.

We all hide from reality. We don’t like to talk about the hard and messy things. We believe we can do it alone, we choose mediocrity every time. Find time for readjustment and alignment. Work hard to hustle for what you know is yours and claim the possibility of loving life.

I will be looking for those ready to align with me… to take chances, and discuss visions of only goodness, wholeness and wellness. We can’t do it alone… but together, we can rise 💛. May your attention be on your alignment and may only goodness cover you.

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Can We Do Better?

I look at this triad that stares back at me and still to this day am unsure of its unfolding. I peer into the eyes of that little girl named Suzanne. 

Dreams of a 7-year-old are quite simple… the fairytales of my princess room seemed so life-like and doable. The genuineness to travel to space, meet my celebrity crush, and care for my baby doll as if her literal life depended on it, kept me smiling and full of life.

The adult years slapped me in the face with a darkness I wasn’t prepared for. The unforeseen devil in the bottle of whiskey, the lies of processed shit food, being overweight, and the hidden agenda of my mind… were to continually taunt me, shame me, and unravel every little good thing I wanted to believe about myself.

Today you will find me on solid ground, but with dreams that soar, and a heart that’s been mended. This didn’t come without tough lessons, steadfast trust, and a pair of sneakers. Those worn out treads have carried me miles and miles.

Running gave me purpose. It befriended me at my lowest, and has taken me to my highest. It never sways, it never says…”‘no you can’t”, it’s not partial to day or night, it doesn’t care what I look like, or what I wear. It just shows up when I need it… and guides me one step at a time. It listens without judgement, and it believes in me.

Running helped me break the chains, and fight for a new existence. It instructed me to do better. We all have crap in our mental closets. We stuff it away, we drink it down, we purge it up… over and over. 

What if we just do better? Don’t wait until tomorrow. Don’t excuse yourself to repeating patterns. Do better. Do something. Do it until you see that 7-year-old’s innocence again… and when you see her, tell her she was right. You can be anything your heart desires. The end.

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The Day is as Good as We Make It.

The day is only as good as we make it. I woke up… did my collagen shooter, laced my sneakers, and now it’s time to breathe in some wellness, and exhale some toxicity.

Habits and routines are a critical part of my day. The quiet of the morning, the ink of the pen, the blank page of my notebook paper come first. It is here where I set my intentions for this day.

I let go of what I can’t control, I do my best to forgive my shortcomings, and I let the gentle strike of my felt tip pen ease me into my day.

Seek to create habits that start your day without disruption. Seek approval only from the depths of your longing soul… not the opinion of others. Strive to make the words on your paper a reality, not just empty promises.

My sneakers are part of my story. The answers, the solace, the discipline, and the gratitude they have taught me continue to not only amaze me, but keep me aligned with my purpose… and steady me when I stumble and sway.

Simplicity and contentment are often in the lost and found. We always crave, uproot, and hunt more… for bigger or better. Today, let joy be found in something simple. Find contentment in the ordinary. There is plenty of goodness for you and for me. Go find it.