Category: Trauma Recovery

Posted on

Seek Your Soul

Each day as the darkness lifts and the light of morning approaches, the driver of our mind is eagerly awaiting to criticize, underestimate, and drop us off at the destination of fear, and uncertainty.

The mental chatter starts… the banter between self-love and self-sabotage gets louder as it bullies us into confusion. And before we even make it to the coffee maker… we feel defeated.

It’s hard to trust ourselves at times. Joy becomes more difficult to cultivate, and the beauty within us gets hidden in our deteriorating exterior world and circumstances.

This morning as I close my eyes and breathe in all that I am yet to become… I am beyond grateful for those opportunities to give back and serve.

I forgive what I cannot change. I accept where my reserved seat in life is at present… and I thank my creator for allowing me to be teachable in my erroneous ways.

Things will not always make sense. Life is fascinating, and difficult, beautiful and tragic. Joyful and miserable, lonely and full… but today, breathe into what you know and desire.

Seek kindness and happiness for you and others. Seek wellness and contentment. Seek your soul… seek to be better…💙

Life is waiting. Isn’t it time?

Posted on

Path of an Empath.

My story is not unlike that of many others. Beautiful people all around me have shared similar experiences, allowed me to visit their private space of struggle, and let me peer through their personal viewfinder of challenge and uncertainty.

Growing up, I was a kid who had low self-esteem. I struggled with who I was, and where I was headed. Even so, I comfortably knew two things about myself:

  1. I had a deep appreciation and love of books, and reading… of pretty pens and notebooks.
  2. I connected deeply with how people felt. Their sadness, their joy, their happiness or anxiety… I could feel it all… and even at a young age pondered how I could help to fix it.

Circling back through my kaleidoscope of life… I am starting to better understand why I am here, why I had to endure my particular lot of darkness, and how through my re-discovery of healing through writing and running was able to overcome my disastrous relationship with food and alcohol.

I am no longer interested in trivial things that absorb my time and cease my progress. Today, I invest my time in what serves my greater purpose and yours. I am not perfect in my ways, but what I am is dedicated to my health, my mindset, and the well-being of people as a whole.

Don’t quit your daydreams 💭 ‼️ Because when you arrive at the doorstep of believing you can… kick your shoes off… you’re going to want to stay a while.

Love these words? Get Daily Running Motivation and Find Support from Health-Minded Friends via Email and Facebook!

Run with our crew at Run Before You Fly!

Sign up for inspirational emails from Suzanne. Join the Run Before You Fly group on Facebook! We’re setting goals, encouraging good health in one another and practicing being our best selves.

Posted on

Time Capsule

There are 40 years between these two pictures of myself. As most of us do periodically, I sit back in awe of how quickly time goes… and I continue to ask myself, why am I here?

There are 40 years of experience in these pictures. Forty years of ups and downs, victories and losses. Forty years of trying to discover what my greater purpose is. What is it that sets me apart?

But furthermore, why is my drive to aid people in overcoming their own personal challenges, addictions, and maladies so important to me?

The time spent in between these pictures tells a story of survival, sadness, setbacks determination, perseverance; and most importantly, joy. The roads and pavements of my traveled feet have guided me back to a life I look forward to. The gentle mobility of one foot in front of the other, the quiet push of excitement in my heart feeling alive, have had a restorative effect on my gross wellbeing.

I stare back at that little girl, and wish I could have prepared her for so many of the unforeseen days of disappointments, life’s struggles, and internal tugs of war.

She didn’t know as she was folding her hands in anticipatory excitement, that she would have to battle alcohol and food addiction, and unforeseen trauma. She didn’t know then that it wasn’t her fault, and that God’s plan was so much greater than she ever could have imagined.

Forty years later, I am thriving, and I am well. I know the plans that have been made for me are immense and full of goodness. My dream of helping you will not falter, or be dismounted. My drive to continue to be a wellness influencer, and motivational speaker keeps me alive with determination and intention.

I am a force that’s not easily tamed, I am grateful, and above all… I am living proof that re-birth is not only possible but, wondrous. Now let’s go find some joy…

Posted on

Obedience Vs. Obstacles.

She was a lone survivor of her own maladies for many years. Day in and day out, she shuffled through the overcast world of her mind. Sure, she could find little segments of normalcy in between her constant starring role titled You’ll Never Get Out of This Place… but nevertheless, she prayed.

She had belief systems that were false. She had been led down a road that taught her life was mainly full of negatives, and that magic and splendor were only for magazines and television. The alcohol and processed food pled their case daily… promising her a comfortable place to unpack all her loneliness.

She continued this ludicrous pattern of destruction for years until one night in the darkness of trying to rest, a voice echoed in her mind. “Seek obedience to overcome your obstacles.”

You cannot repeat the same pattens of dysfunction and expect a new result. Yes, you can become unstuck from the fly trap of your demise. But this doesn’t come without obedience within yourself.

It doesn’t happen without a battle between good and evil, necessary versus unnecessary… a mix of laughter and pain.

When your desire is working in you, there is nothing capable of stopping what you can become. Something will always show up trying to halt your progress, and keep you trapped. Stay obedient to yourself. Fuel your body with goodness, and allow your reflection to tell the story.

Nevertheless… she prayed.

She is right here. She is me. She is 5 years sober. She is healthy, and fit. She can be you, too. Don’t give up.

Posted on

Joyride to Journey

She was a mix of so many ingredients. The batter she swirled around daily inside her wasn’t always pretty, or without messes. It wasn’t always without clumps of regret that needed smoothing, nor without constant effort to seek a better end result.

What it was though… was consistent even when she doubted. And when fear choked her of seeing a bright future… she poured her batter anyway.

I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the more I realize the essence of my timeline here on earth. I softly remember things that hurt, that drove me to change… but I boldly look toward what I am meant for.

And as for my purpose, once clouded but which is now becoming crystal… running the Boston Marathon, building a side business, and the compassionate drive to help those who are lost, lonely and addicted… can’t be accomplished by wishing, and daydreaming.

Sweat and scars, time, and tangible efforts get me there. We are only here for a blink of an eye. Our journey is a tale of our struggles, our whys, our deeper need, and our promise of hope.

It took me 40-plus years to realize the importance of enjoying my journey. Ten years ago, I was 90 pounds overweight, shooting whiskey, and allowing toxic things to erode me from inside out.

I don’t have all the answers, I can’t explain all the happenstances. But I can say this: ponder what it is that’s stopping you from your potential. Discard it, release it, flush it.

Time waits for no one. It’s time to take a joyride 💛.

Posted on

Take More Detours

Take a detour? Why, Suzanne? Detours are longer, they are often not the road we intended. They are sometimes scary and leave us without knowledge of where we are going or where we will end up.

The detours of my own journey were and still are crucial to where I’m headed. I wasn’t prepared for the crash and burn of several of the circumstances that were delivered to me without permission, nor the ones I allowed to repeatedly and constantly cause me self-anguish.

Taking a detour is necessary. Get off the route that has not served you. Get off the route that has continually let you down, has sabotaged your efforts, and has hijacked your mind into believing that “you can’t” or “it doesn’t matter.”

It does matter… you matter… your health and wellness matters. What you think of yourself matters. What you dream and desire to achieve matters. Take a left turn, and travel down a road unfamiliar. Ponder what it is that is stopping you. Breathe in all that is wonderful, and exhale all the BS you didn’t invite.

Take a detour today, and trust that this quiet unfamiliar place… is a space meant just for you. Be inspired at what both its softness and hardness teach you. 

May your detour today be exactly what you need. Treat your body and your mind well today. Onward, Loves.


Loved This Message? Please Forward to a Friend Who Can Use the Encouragement.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Swanson makes it her personal mission to help people on the path to recovery. Her own struggles with alcohol and food have led her to a place of wanting to give back to the world. Need support around setting goals, and getting healthy in every aspect of your life? Sign up for our mailing list.

Posted on

Can We Do Better?

I look at this triad that stares back at me and still to this day am unsure of its unfolding. I peer into the eyes of that little girl named Suzanne. 

Dreams of a 7-year-old are quite simple… the fairytales of my princess room seemed so life-like and doable. The genuineness to travel to space, meet my celebrity crush, and care for my baby doll as if her literal life depended on it, kept me smiling and full of life.

The adult years slapped me in the face with a darkness I wasn’t prepared for. The unforeseen devil in the bottle of whiskey, the lies of processed shit food, being overweight, and the hidden agenda of my mind… were to continually taunt me, shame me, and unravel every little good thing I wanted to believe about myself.

Today you will find me on solid ground, but with dreams that soar, and a heart that’s been mended. This didn’t come without tough lessons, steadfast trust, and a pair of sneakers. Those worn out treads have carried me miles and miles.

Running gave me purpose. It befriended me at my lowest, and has taken me to my highest. It never sways, it never says…”‘no you can’t”, it’s not partial to day or night, it doesn’t care what I look like, or what I wear. It just shows up when I need it… and guides me one step at a time. It listens without judgement, and it believes in me.

Running helped me break the chains, and fight for a new existence. It instructed me to do better. We all have crap in our mental closets. We stuff it away, we drink it down, we purge it up… over and over. 

What if we just do better? Don’t wait until tomorrow. Don’t excuse yourself to repeating patterns. Do better. Do something. Do it until you see that 7-year-old’s innocence again… and when you see her, tell her she was right. You can be anything your heart desires. The end.

Posted on

Light Bringer.

Are you a light bringer and a world shifter?

I get it. No… like I really get it. I ask myself, am I really of this time and space? Has my brain been hijacked? Am I truly witnessing this world fall apart before my eyes?

What happened to the value of a dollar? The meaning of a handshake and its honor for trust. The family table at dinner time, and simplicity of holding the door for someone.

Every day I get challenged. My demons want to me to re-introduce myself. The whiskey bottle subliminally hovers, and the processed comfort foods beg for a chance to take their stronghold.

These things always resurface… coming up for just enough air to try pull me back down… to prove the vicious cycle can reset.

To shift and grow… to brighten and conquer… I must eagerly remind myself of the teachings of my sneakers… and this road.

The conditions are constantly changing. Things insidiously try to stop me from smiling, trick me into un-believing in my ability to play my part in making this world better, and knock me off course so the light dims and conceals my purpose to myself and others.

You have the ability to shine and shift today. Grace is here… there is no need to fight yesterday. Block the mental dimming switch, refuse to stay stuck, and inch your feet just a little.

You’ll ask yourself… will this really matter? To me? To others? The short answer is yes… someone is learning from you. Teach them well.

Posted on

“New Year, New You”

Sleepless nights. Tossing and turning. Hating my choices. Angry at where life “put me.” Feelings of low self esteem. Daily wars with my inner self. HATE. EAT. DRINK. REPEAT.

That was my life for years, only I did it in silence so I could isolate myself from penetrating words, good people, and the truth.

It wasn’t until the long distance sport of running taught me to be tougher than my demons. It taught me patience, and endurance. 

It taught me humbleness, and mercy. It taught me that a little daily discipline, coupled with passion, and a good diet could be the answer to unlocking the door and leaving my living hell, and a hell I chose to stay in far too long.

We all hear the same crap. “It’s a New Year, New You”… “Start tomorrow, today is over.” “I’m going to do it… just not today.” 

I’m here to tell you: today counts. This minute counts. You don’t need a new month, or new turn of the numbers to give you permission to become your greatest self. Our addictions, the errors of our ways, and our poor choices can only thrive if we allow them to.

Be done with your own crap. Take the good advice you give others but never follow yourself. Make YOU a priority, don’t over complicate it. Eat a vegetable, drink more water, and let your story tell itself.

Somewhere today someone is watching you. Be a good teacher, and be a kind human. That. Is. All.

Posted on

Graceful Exit.

I hear the clock ticking. The second hand makes known how much time is left before I say goodbye to 2021, and prepare to develop, grow, and thrive in the next 365 days.

To exit something gracefully is a challenge, and for many of us, implies multiple meanings. It can mean we must let go of the thing that has weighed so heavy on us… not altering its validity, not denying its lesson or importance… but simply and painstakingly cutting the cord of what is preserving bitterness in order to end the madness.

For some, it may be exiting a toxic relationship or friendship, where finally the tight grasp that a certain person once had over you has loosened just enough to be set free.

We all carry the power to battle our mental hijackers and spiritual strongholds. We all tolerate things that are beyond ludicrous. We condone, we consume, and we swallow the negative backwash of others. Exit gracefully, intentionally leave behind the baggage, and arrive at the new starting line of life.

For me this year has had its rolling hills. I’ve had tears, I’ve had smiles wider than canyons, and I’ve had sadness that aches to the core… but it’s kept its promise. It has made me a better athlete, a better friend, and has given me more insight to understand what I want and what I will demand for my continued becoming.

Exit this year gracefully… bow your head in thanks, raise your hand not your white flag, and run into the New Year with a blank canvas.

Who will you be in 2022? What will you accomplish? Who and what you take with you and who and what you leave behind will impact your results. Stop being okay with what’s not okay.

May we all find our balance, exit gracefully, and land ever so softly to new beginnings.

#runningmotivation#RUNBEFOREYOUFLY#exitthematrix

Writing as Self Therapy – Self Guided Journaling Challenges Coming Soon

Run and write your way to a happier, healthier and more purpose-driven life. Sign up to hear from Suzanne via email. We’ll have some thought-provoking writing challenges, discussion groups and other empowering activities planned for 2022. Sign up for our emails here.