16 Miles and Smiles.

She looked softly in the mirror at the woman she once was.

She forgave herself for all the lies she told and believed about her beautiful soul.

She made food her friend… using it to heal and fuel her body.

She said goodbye to her booze addiction that betrayed her beyond measure, but not without letting it see how much good she has used it to teach the world that healing and recovery are possible.

This morning she woke at 4:45 am to run 16 miles. She is disciplined. She is strong. She is kind. She is me.


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I Choose.

I choose…

To live by my standards, not society’s.

To live by choice… not by chance.

To be motivated… not manipulated.

To be useful… not used.

To make changes, not excuses.

To excel for myself… not compete with others.

I choose self worth, not self pity.

I choose integrity over conforming.

I choose peace over bullshit.

I choose me.

What do you choose today?

#hopedealer #changeisgonnacome

Run for Humanity.

Today I run for our soldiers. For our heroes. For our men and women who have given tirelessly and relentlessly for my freedom and for my protection.

Today I run for this world, and how unbelievably broken it is. I run for those weary, and struggling. For those who are broken and sick. I run for our forefathers and what they fought for. I run for humanity and kindness for all humankind, of all skin colors, ethnicities, and race.

I run for peace, and to ignite unity. I run to understand ignorance and to pray for patience. I run for to seek clarity of a world that I admit I am sometimes fearful of and disgusted by.

I run today for this land that I love. Thank you, heroes… military, fire, police, first responders, doctors, nurses, pastors, truck drivers, clerks, gas station attendants, teachers, waitresses, waiters, lineman, mental health counselors, and everyone else who I didn’t mention…

I RUN FOR US ALL TODAY. May we continue to love, to be kind humans, and may our spirits be filled with a united love for all mankind…❤️💙🇺🇸.

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Metamorphosis

Metamorphosis…

As a child, I was carefree, with a zest for life. I didn’t know about responsibility then, or have worry. I didn’t understand the concept of adulthood, paying bills, raising children. I didn’t know about the harshness of cruel people, who the taxman or bill collector was, or that I would soon walk the road to darkness.

In my early to late adulthood, I was taught the hard lessons of love, the fear of crippling anxiety, the sadness of the battle with the bottle, the raw truth of feeling less than.

I felt the defeat of being overweight, the sadness of lack of joy, and had an overwhelming dreaded falseness that I could not become who that little girl on the left dreamed of.

In my midlife, I found the love of running… and today I inhale gratitude with each breath.

I welcome joy, I preach hope. I tell the booze to shut up and lay down. I make my choices. I decide who stays and who goes, and I will choose peace over bullshit every time.

Faith leads the way. Hope lights the path, and perseverance steps you there.

Take a step… take a breath… and find your way to your metamorphosis 🖤.

#hopedealer #IAintDoneYet

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My Father’s Daughter.

This morning I set out for my 15-mile training run.

Today was rough… humidity at 98%, and an added challenge to run without music for that distance to allow time for truly resting my head from purposeful noise… and just allowing nature’s music to be the background today.

It’s these days I often think of my Dad in heaven. So many thoughts are going through my mind…

Happy that he’s at peace, a little jealous that he doesn’t have to deal with the stressors of what’s around us. Heartbroken that I can’t ask him advice on how to deal with certain things…

But even still as I round the corner to finish this run, I know he is looking down… proud at what I have overcome, smiling at who I am becoming, and glowing because his lifelong harsh but gentle teachings are woven in me.

“I am my father’s daughter.”

Fifteen miles of “I-get-to-wake-up-and-do-what-I-love…”

Life has really been good to me. 💙Amen.

Reflections

Today is my rest day. Today is my day to allow myself the much-needed physical break of pushing my body to its limits the previous week. Today is necessary and needed.

Today my mind is tired, too. As much as we try our best, we can easily get caught on the racetrack of uninvited thoughts, fearful imaginings… temporarily stuck on the rewind button of would’ve and should’ve… or the fast forward button of the what-if’s.

We forget to stay in the right now… in the very present moment.

My job as a nurse can be mentally taxing. Covid is tiring. It’s exhausting. I try my best to trust in what I know, to help those even who are bitter, and to stay grounded in my roots and beliefs that led me to this field.

My Job as Mom makes me question my own choices at times. I ask myself, am I teaching my children how to survive in a crazy world? Am I teaching unconditional love? The worry never ceases, yet with faith as the foundation… I know they will be just fine.

In pausing… I ask myself, did I make the best food choices I could last week? Did I run my heart out with pure love and joy of what my sneakers allow me to accomplish? Did I practice diligence and perseverance?

I can get in my own way. My head space can be annoying, relentless, and a pain in the ass. But my mind teaches me. My thoughts can be changed. I can look at life any way I choose. I have control of what I put in my mouth. I stay sober, I eat right, and I try my best.

Give yourself permission to feel… to question… to make adjustments.

Allow time to sit alone with your soul. Ask it what it needs, and then allow the universe to help you get there. Reflect unto others your gifts.

Reflect often and softly, reflect clearly and wildly… be gentle with your decisions, and forgiving in your results.

Amen 🖤.

Wherever You Go, There You Are.

There is an old adage that says “Wherever you go, there you are.”

We cannot escape the truths within us. We cannot run from our disjointed problems or fears. We can only try to mute the demons that show up to destroy and derail every good amount of progress we make.

It took me years to realize, life isn’t perfect. The ebb and flow of our emotions can take a toll on us. Treat yourself and others with loving kindness as you move toward your transformation.

I love running, I love to push my body to limits that I know are crazy. I fight hard to balance my nutrition, and work tirelessly continue to walk the tightrope of this crazy ass society… BUT most importantly, I’ve learned to take a breath.

Stop and stare at wildflowers, look out onto the lake and appreciate its gentle stillness. Life is passing us by and will wait for no one.

Be diligent in your work. Be accountable to yourself as you embark on crushing your goals, but always remember “wherever you go, there you are.”

So learn to be willing to accept where you are, change what you can, and love who you are unfolding to become🖤.

#manifestmonday #runnersstories #unfoldinyourjourney

Follow along as Suzanne Swanson takes us through her transformation from addiction to athlete. Find support and healing in your own life! We’re sending Suzanne’s blog updates via email along with a daily dose of motivation. Don’t miss the next post… delivered straight to your inbox.

No Excuses.

Fulfillment Friday…

My old life was a mess. My terrible habits. My lack of respect for myself and others brought me to a place of unhappiness.

I tried numerous times to get my shit together with little result. I was lonely, fear-struck, overweight, sick, stuck, tired, and deflated.

4:30 am used to be the time I would just be crawling into bed along with my regrets and whisky stained tear drops… praying to stop my insanity.

Today at 4:30 am I was sipping my rocket fuel… getting ready to slay double digits down the boulevard.

You want to be transformed? Good… let’s go. 🖤

You want to be fulfilled… take my hand and I’ll show you the way. Amen.

“Wake Up, Beauties ~ It’s Time to Beast”

#hopedealer #runningmotivation #fullfillment #dontmakeexcuses

Instant Joyful Human

Instant Joyful Human: 💙
Directions: Lace one pair of comfortable running sneakers.

Place favorite junk headband, and turn music UP!

Breathe. Grab favorite hydration beverage… smile and GO 💜.

Results may vary by location, and how much you move your ass. Some restrictions may apply. No money back guarantee.

Warning ⚠️… the runner you see pictured is actually a runner and full of joy. Smiling is contagious. DO try this at home!

The Road to Self-Worth

The responses I have received from my Run to Change Lives interview have truly been overwhelming and sincerely heartfelt. I have received many messages today on the subject of self-worth and how did I use my love of running to help me achieve it?

We are conditioned to feel less than. We have been taught to try harder, to “erase and try again,” to hesitate when we are given an opportunity to better ourselves, and that we are selfish when we put ourselves first.

The open road, and my running sneakers have given me back what other people, and certain concepts have tried to repetitively take from me… my self worth.

To make progress, allow yourself the wonderful endowment of self-acceptance. You have been given a gift. You were made for a purpose.

You are allowed to sit in both places of uncertainty, and places of great unrest .

You are allowed to sit in unsteady moments, and stand taller when you have rebuilt the foundation that once tried to crumble you.

The open road will listen, will push you, will be gentle some days and fierce the next– but it will guide you to regain your own love, life and trust back.

Whether it’s the park, the track, the mountains, the pavement, the bicycle, the pool, the yoga mat… take all your lack of’s and should be’s there.

Discard them one by one… and when they come back… let them visit but NEVER invite them to stay again as they no longer serve a purpose. Amen.

🖤#selfcare#selfworth#hopedealer#restday

Follow along as Suzanne Swanson takes us through her transformation from addiction to athlete. Find support and healing in your own life! We’re sending Suzanne’s blog updates via email along with a daily dose of motivation. Don’t miss the next post… delivered straight to your inbox.

Sign up to hear from Suzanne via email here.