It’s Not Easy, Going Rogue.

Back in my hometown this morning on my beautiful paved roads of familiarity. This past week of mountain climbing put my body to the test, revealing areas of needed improvement.

My mindset was challenged… yet this experience gave me a sense of improved peace, and a complete appreciation for what it truly means to work for the reward.

I’m starting today with a refurbished attitude. I journaled my new goals this morning, releasing all the crap that was ready to slither in and set up roadblocks. Each day begins with a choice to settle… or a choosing of doing better… being better… living better.

It’s not easy going rogue. Standing tall for better choices, seeking better people, living for God and loving yourself enough to be transparent so others can see it is possible.

I’ve lived in my own hell. I wrote the book on feeling sorry, feeling guilty, and falling short.

Today is glorious. The air is perfect, the sun is shining. I hear the wind softly singing its own song, and the birds are happy. Today can be the day you decide change is gonna come.

I see you… I heard you… I believe in you. Let’s get going. Time waits for no one.

The Climb.

Today I laced up shoes… but instead of running sneakers, they were trail sneakers.

I faced unbelievable fear today during my climb to the highest peak in Vermont at 4,393 feet above sea level — Mount Mansfield. This climb was straight up the mountain, had a rock chasm, and challenged every athletic bone in my body.

At the Summit I cried tears of joy, and gratitude, and was in pure awe at the view I saw. Visibility was 100 miles and not a cloud In the sky. I thanked my body for its resilience, and healing.

I gave thanks for my health and the miraculous gifts my body gives to me. I prayed for all the things that have been weighing heavy, and sat with a complete easiness of how I am choosing my serve my being.

This was a day I’ll never forget…

“Ain’t about how fast I get there… Ain’t about waiting on the other side… it’s the climb.”

#imadeit #climbthemountain

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Reflections on Forty-Six.

And so today the first day of another trip around the sun begins. Forty-seven years does not seem possible nor fathomable… yet here it is, staring back at me with deep reflections.

Forty-six has been a year of immense change in a continued inward journey, leaps of faith, heartbreak, and lessons learned.

Forty-six has encapsulated feelings of uncertainty, nevertheless allowing me to see the distinctions of people, life idiosyncrasies, and how I will continue to lead my life more clearly than ever.

I have learned that this world is unbelievably broken… full of political disaster, inhumane behaviors, endless tragedy, but even still remains incredibly beautiful.

I have personally watched a pandemic change the fate of medicine before my very eyes. I have witnessed lonely people scared to death, hardened people become softer, and have questioned and teetered on a tightrope of my own beliefs.

Forty-six gave the courage to start something new, go out of my comfort zone, only to teach me that where I was in the first place is where I belong… and getting back there was both an admission of failure and growth.

Forty-six has taught me courage. Some people will continue to hurt you without validated answers of why, and that boundaries are absolutely acceptable and necessary.

It taught me that the deliberate actions of others speak volumes about their character not mine, and that my job is to continue to pray and forgive their brokenness. That forgiveness does not mean tolerance, and that strength is always born with spoken truths.

Forty-six gave me another year with an amazing family that, although not perfect, is woven with love, strength, and of an unspoken knowingness of unity no matter what.

Forty-six has granted me the opportunity to meet some very special people… each with their own story that I now am privileged to be a small part of.

Forty-six is gone and has taken many parts of me with it. Although many tears have been shed… joy has been re-born. My appreciation and gratefulness for life is greater than my sorrow, and whatever my fate is… I’ll meet it with contentedness.

Forty-six will not be just another number but a celebration of what’s to come. My sneakers, my paved roads, my dream of running the Boston Marathon, my writing, my immense passion to inspire others, and spread hope will remain at the forefront of my being.

May 47 give me a soft place to rest, persist in leading me to my life’s work and purpose, and continue to offer me daily grace.

To be continued💛💛💛

Simple Gifts.

Seek the simplicity of life. Stop and admire God’s awestruck beauty. Give special thanks to all who have set roadblocks… and those who have lifted them.

Practice what you preach. Make your bed. Make peace with yourself. Tell toxic people they’re un-invited, and set the table of your life with only those who bring you hope, goodness, and insight.

It’s never too late to start over. You’re not a lost cause. You have a gift. Use it. Be still, be alert, and be ready. Life is waiting for you.

My road has taught me something so valuable. That I matter, my ways of being matter, and you matter. The view finder of this road this morning was a gift. Find yours… and know it was meant to teach you… period. The end.

#lookathisview #morningvibes #beastudentoflife

Autumn of Reproach.

Fall is a season of reproach for me. I tuck away the things summer has taught me. I welcome the rustling leaves, the vibrant colors, and dare to dream all that is meant for me in this season.

When Autumn awakes… so does my heart. I allow the sun to take a step back… but my inner strength and yearning to take a step forward. I think of all the gifts that I am given daily. I am thankful in a season of accomplishment, and yet seek excitement for the next place my journey will land me.

I am learning that everything happens in God’s time, that I was woven and spun for his greatest good, and that experiences both awful and wonderful have helped to shape and mold me into the best version of myself that I can be.

Never doubt your internal longing to be greater, continue to question things that are bullshit, and do not settle for anything other than what gives you peace.

Let today be the start of your unveiling. The best is yet to come.

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The Road is Your Teacher

I look down my long beautiful county road this morning. It’s the same road I have run for years although today something is different…..my perspective.

This road has taught me so much about myself. It’s taught me patience when the answers won’t come fast enough, it’s taught me appreciation for the beautiful place I get to call home.

It’s taught me to value myself, and to always trust my gut. It’s taught me humbleness, and that no matter what there is purpose in each step on this pavement.

Your road is a teacher. Learn from it today….then take what you know and gift it to someone else. Someone is watching you… show them greatness 💛.

Mountain.

The climb in any journey is filled with uneven pavement, unexplored trails and pathways, and unexplained moments of both sorrow and joy.

I can’t stay stuck or complacent. I must wake each day hungry for change, thirsty to arrive at the doormat of peace, and eager to be a leader not a follower.

Seek to move mountains. Train to fulfill your greatest potential.

Do not settle for anything less than what brings you victory.

The summit of life reveals beauty and satisfaction… but it’s the climb that tells our tale of both resilience and determination. 🖤

Running, and My Why for Doing It.

The essence of who I am begins with my why. Why do I fight so hard to try and change lives? Why do I fight so hard to stay committed to my health and wellness?

The Run to Change Lives family has been a warm and friendly place to share all our journeys, our sorrows, and our victories. It has been pivotal in me sharing my story, and offering hope to all those who are lost.

People ask me all the time, “WHY DO YOU RUN?”

I run when life is suffocating me, and the open pavement provides strength and air to breathe.

I run to pray for all of those who reach out to me for guidance… for those who feel as if their life has nothing left to offer.

I run in times of confusion, when I’m stuck and torn between the strings of my heart verses the soundness of my brain.

I run to dream. I hear the Boston Marathon crowd in my head.

I envision the spectators, I can feel the course, and close my eyes and feel the victory of this accomplishment.

I run to see God’s beauty and all the things that daily I take for granted.

I run to hear nature, and for a moment in time… just simply be in awe of how our earth spins, and that I get to be a part of it.

Finally: I RUN TO CHANGE LIVES. AMEN.

Rise, Phoenix, Rise.

This road before me challenges me today. It speaks to me. It tells me that I if I want to continue to rise like the Phoenix, I must remember a few key things…

My relationship with myself is one of the most important jobs I must continue to cultivate. I must never allow my happiness to depend on another person, place or thing. I am responsible for my creating my own inner joy.

The body war, image struggles, inner food choice fights, and mental sabotage are only a thought away from being used for good. I can change my thoughts and create behaviors that make me well, vibrant and full of life.

I’ll admit it: these past few days, some old feelings, and that familiar knock on the door of derailment have been loud….

BUT today this badass is up and ready. She allowed herself a minute… she comforted her soul, she accepted what was, and now she is ready to close the door, and RISE.

This picture of my road and the breathtaking view of what God created… reminds me that I am on a path to victory. RISE, PHOENIX, RISE 🔥

Overcome, Not Over-Complicate.

The triad you see in this picture is all me, however each image reflects stages of my journey. Each picture depicts truth, and displays spiritual, emotional and physical transformation.

As a child, my smile was real. Happy thoughts of mud pies, laughing with my best friend, and reading my favorite books were all I needed. Life was simple. The cruel world, awful people, rotten concepts of thinking and hatred remained dormant and had not reared their ugly heads.

The middle picture was after life had truly pulled the rug. Negative influences, compiled with tremendous self-loathing was driving the car. Addictions to food, alcohol, and hating myself comprised my daily ritual.

I was stuck. I hated myself. I played the game, forced half-hearted smiles, and repeatedly begged for God to use me for good.

The last picture is a woman who found her joy, wakes up happy on purpose, and chooses to feel and experience all life will offer her. This road behind her has taught her that instant gratification is bullshit, and ordinary moments, wide-smiled surprises, and a random chat with someone at the grocery store is what life is all about.

Take time out today to do what you love. Be ever so gentle with yourself… but own your crap. Decide that today is the day you start over.

Overcome, not over complicate – and may who you are designed to be shine brighter today.

CARPE DIEM!! 🖤

#HopeDealer #AnyQuestions #runningmotivation