Category: Peer Support

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6 Years Ago Today.

Today is just a random Saturday to many of us. The start of the weekend. A day to sleep in… catch up and make memories.

Six years ago on this day in June after another night of black out drinking… I woke up on a tear-stained pillow realizing change was a must.

I had been down this road before. I had conquered my demons, had challenged booze and won… but had I?

I remember seeing my sneakers laying in the corner, the laces were so bright and beautiful.

My head was pounding. My heart was heavy. My addictive thoughts were already trying to convince me “I don’t need to quit” and to crawl back to the darkness where I was safe from reality, humility, admission, and repair.

I stumbled out of bed, so weak I could barely stand up. Beads of sweat rolled down my face.

I made it to the mirror, and with every amount of strength had left in me… promised myself I would set out to beat this disease, and spend the rest of my days helping those who felt hopeless do the same.

I managed to tie my laces, and go out to the place where my healing journey began… the open road. As I worked the steps of this book… the steps on that asphalt became my best friend.

It listened intently, it spoke to me softly, and it showed my healing and recovery was possible… one run at a time.

Today is just a day to some… but to me, it’s everything.

2,193 days of taking my life back… doing the deep shit work of admitting my own crap, and pushing to become better.

I am forever grateful to the people that took my hand when I was weak, that loved me unconditionally through my worst, and who I still count on today to help me stay accountable.

Like a sunflower, even on my darkest days… I stood to face the light.

Recovery is not only possible… it’s wonderful.

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Arm Yourself with Kindness.

Sometimes when I reflect back, I can’t believe how my journey has unfolded. This is not about what you weigh or what your size is.

I have learned that the representation of a number to our self worth is BS… and being connected and comfortable in our skin comes in beautiful forms of all shapes and sizes.

This is about treating yourself with kindness.

I spent half of my life nearly drinking myself sick. I allowed foods that were not serving me to rule my decisions, and give me a false sense of comfort. I lived in a rat race of comparisons, instead of allowing grace to move in for healing.

On occasion I still may wobble… life sometimes tries to sway me back to a place that I know will leave me empty and without joy.

Arm yourself with kindness. Focus on feeling your best, leading by example. Shut the toxic opinions of others out, and choose what is best for you.

Today the sun is shining. My head is clear. My body is fueled with nutrition that I can pronounce, my coffee is hot, and I’m grateful for another day.

Don’t overthink it. Don’t wish your life away. Don’t false-idol the people who you think have it all. Start simple… be kind to yourself… and be amazed where that takes you.

~ From the Diary of What Running and Life Have Taught Me


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Not Forgotten.

I struggle some days with my mind on overload. The constant replay of things I see or hear. Choices I contemplate making, things I see on social media etc… or hear out in the world.

I beg for the chattering to stop, and know that the best cure is my feet on this pavement.

I believe in miracles. I believe in signs. I still believe in the greater good of people despite what’s happening in our world… and every once in a while just when I need it most… my Creator shows me he hears me, and I am not forgotten.

Do the best you can… and then do better.

~ From the Diary of What Running and Life Have Taught Me


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Finding Your Freedom.

Joy is subjective. How we reach it and what we choose to do with it when it lands in our arms is based on our beliefs and experiences.

This route I’m on tonight is a road I have walked and run countless times… the bends… the cracks and splits in the pavement… the familiar landscapes, and trees… the same fallen down fence, and tiny creek that has displayed both softness and fierceness, takes me through the pages of my personal story.

I have taken this road through many roadblocks, setbacks, and milestones. I have walked this road through tear-stained eyes of “just another” attempt at sobriety and healthy living.

I have prayed incessantly on this road for new beginnings and purpose. I have revealed my deepest secrets and regrets here, and have found overwhelming contentment is my success and healing.

Tonight, as I look to all the sights and sounds that have embraced all my metamorphoses… I am simply thankful that I get to tell my tale.

I get to give back and spread hope… and most of all, that my joy was not in front of me or behind me… it wasn’t beside me or gone from me… it was there all along… inside of me.

Scream your story from the rooftop… someway… somehow… someone needs to hear it. Amen.

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Stops Along the Way.

The space between where you stand now and where you dream of landing is filled with many stops of uncertainty along the way. I am thankful for every setback, every tear, and plea of why me.

I am thankful for what my addictions allowed me to see, and why I never want to return there again. I am thankful to able to learn, and grow… to breathe and push my body to limits I never thought possible.

I am thankful for the first pair of running sneakers that humbled me… embarrassed me… and stayed patient as I navigated myself to a rebirth of health, appreciation, and love for the unspoken guidance of my paved roads.

Life wakes each morning with ten new reasons to quit, to surrender, to grumble, and to avoid. Be the one reason you prevail. Live thankfully… the end 👊🏻.

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Time Capsule

There are 40 years between these two pictures of myself. As most of us do periodically, I sit back in awe of how quickly time goes… and I continue to ask myself, why am I here?

There are 40 years of experience in these pictures. Forty years of ups and downs, victories and losses. Forty years of trying to discover what my greater purpose is. What is it that sets me apart?

But furthermore, why is my drive to aid people in overcoming their own personal challenges, addictions, and maladies so important to me?

The time spent in between these pictures tells a story of survival, sadness, setbacks determination, perseverance; and most importantly, joy. The roads and pavements of my traveled feet have guided me back to a life I look forward to. The gentle mobility of one foot in front of the other, the quiet push of excitement in my heart feeling alive, have had a restorative effect on my gross wellbeing.

I stare back at that little girl, and wish I could have prepared her for so many of the unforeseen days of disappointments, life’s struggles, and internal tugs of war.

She didn’t know as she was folding her hands in anticipatory excitement, that she would have to battle alcohol and food addiction, and unforeseen trauma. She didn’t know then that it wasn’t her fault, and that God’s plan was so much greater than she ever could have imagined.

Forty years later, I am thriving, and I am well. I know the plans that have been made for me are immense and full of goodness. My dream of helping you will not falter, or be dismounted. My drive to continue to be a wellness influencer, and motivational speaker keeps me alive with determination and intention.

I am a force that’s not easily tamed, I am grateful, and above all… I am living proof that re-birth is not only possible but, wondrous. Now let’s go find some joy…

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Obedience Vs. Obstacles.

She was a lone survivor of her own maladies for many years. Day in and day out, she shuffled through the overcast world of her mind. Sure, she could find little segments of normalcy in between her constant starring role titled You’ll Never Get Out of This Place… but nevertheless, she prayed.

She had belief systems that were false. She had been led down a road that taught her life was mainly full of negatives, and that magic and splendor were only for magazines and television. The alcohol and processed food pled their case daily… promising her a comfortable place to unpack all her loneliness.

She continued this ludicrous pattern of destruction for years until one night in the darkness of trying to rest, a voice echoed in her mind. “Seek obedience to overcome your obstacles.”

You cannot repeat the same pattens of dysfunction and expect a new result. Yes, you can become unstuck from the fly trap of your demise. But this doesn’t come without obedience within yourself.

It doesn’t happen without a battle between good and evil, necessary versus unnecessary… a mix of laughter and pain.

When your desire is working in you, there is nothing capable of stopping what you can become. Something will always show up trying to halt your progress, and keep you trapped. Stay obedient to yourself. Fuel your body with goodness, and allow your reflection to tell the story.

Nevertheless… she prayed.

She is right here. She is me. She is 5 years sober. She is healthy, and fit. She can be you, too. Don’t give up.

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Joyride to Journey

She was a mix of so many ingredients. The batter she swirled around daily inside her wasn’t always pretty, or without messes. It wasn’t always without clumps of regret that needed smoothing, nor without constant effort to seek a better end result.

What it was though… was consistent even when she doubted. And when fear choked her of seeing a bright future… she poured her batter anyway.

I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the more I realize the essence of my timeline here on earth. I softly remember things that hurt, that drove me to change… but I boldly look toward what I am meant for.

And as for my purpose, once clouded but which is now becoming crystal… running the Boston Marathon, building a side business, and the compassionate drive to help those who are lost, lonely and addicted… can’t be accomplished by wishing, and daydreaming.

Sweat and scars, time, and tangible efforts get me there. We are only here for a blink of an eye. Our journey is a tale of our struggles, our whys, our deeper need, and our promise of hope.

It took me 40-plus years to realize the importance of enjoying my journey. Ten years ago, I was 90 pounds overweight, shooting whiskey, and allowing toxic things to erode me from inside out.

I don’t have all the answers, I can’t explain all the happenstances. But I can say this: ponder what it is that’s stopping you from your potential. Discard it, release it, flush it.

Time waits for no one. It’s time to take a joyride 💛.

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The Art of Alignment

Did you ever wake up and think how did I get here? What is life trying to teach me? And why must I stay on this path? For me, this is something I ponder with curiosity almost daily.

As I always try to move forward with Integrity and Intention… my mind wanders back to “all the things.” The whys and ways of my old life. The demand to myself of changing my habits and body. The rawness of exposing my booze addition, my previous obesity, and the hallway of self-sabotage I was trapped in.

The efforts of searching and trusting what nutrition I choose and what supplements I will make a priority in taking are all things that as I age and gain wisdom… become of utmost importance. Alignment happens when we stay in agreement with ourselves… not the wishes of others!

Alignment happens when we pray, we manifest, and we know that the people, friends, acquaintances you are connected with are pivotal in reaching your dreams and goals. The sport I love more than almost anything, has connected me with the most amazing humans. Hard work, grit, sacrifice, kindness, are just the tip of what we have in this community.

Whether you are a runner, walker, swimmer, biker, hiker, yoga teacher, friend, family member, or just along to learn and grow… know your purpose is important, the language of life you speak will be the enlaced in your legacy.

We all hide from reality. We don’t like to talk about the hard and messy things. We believe we can do it alone, we choose mediocrity every time. Find time for readjustment and alignment. Work hard to hustle for what you know is yours and claim the possibility of loving life.

I will be looking for those ready to align with me… to take chances, and discuss visions of only goodness, wholeness and wellness. We can’t do it alone… but together, we can rise 💛. May your attention be on your alignment and may only goodness cover you.

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Take More Detours

Take a detour? Why, Suzanne? Detours are longer, they are often not the road we intended. They are sometimes scary and leave us without knowledge of where we are going or where we will end up.

The detours of my own journey were and still are crucial to where I’m headed. I wasn’t prepared for the crash and burn of several of the circumstances that were delivered to me without permission, nor the ones I allowed to repeatedly and constantly cause me self-anguish.

Taking a detour is necessary. Get off the route that has not served you. Get off the route that has continually let you down, has sabotaged your efforts, and has hijacked your mind into believing that “you can’t” or “it doesn’t matter.”

It does matter… you matter… your health and wellness matters. What you think of yourself matters. What you dream and desire to achieve matters. Take a left turn, and travel down a road unfamiliar. Ponder what it is that is stopping you. Breathe in all that is wonderful, and exhale all the BS you didn’t invite.

Take a detour today, and trust that this quiet unfamiliar place… is a space meant just for you. Be inspired at what both its softness and hardness teach you. 

May your detour today be exactly what you need. Treat your body and your mind well today. Onward, Loves.


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About Suzanne

Suzanne Swanson makes it her personal mission to help people on the path to recovery. Her own struggles with alcohol and food have led her to a place of wanting to give back to the world. Need support around setting goals, and getting healthy in every aspect of your life? Sign up for our mailing list.