Can We Do Better?

I look at this triad that stares back at me and still to this day am unsure of its unfolding. I peer into the eyes of that little girl named Suzanne. 

Dreams of a 7-year-old are quite simple… the fairytales of my princess room seemed so life-like and doable. The genuineness to travel to space, meet my celebrity crush, and care for my baby doll as if her literal life depended on it, kept me smiling and full of life.

The adult years slapped me in the face with a darkness I wasn’t prepared for. The unforeseen devil in the bottle of whiskey, the lies of processed shit food, being overweight, and the hidden agenda of my mind… were to continually taunt me, shame me, and unravel every little good thing I wanted to believe about myself.

Today you will find me on solid ground, but with dreams that soar, and a heart that’s been mended. This didn’t come without tough lessons, steadfast trust, and a pair of sneakers. Those worn out treads have carried me miles and miles.

Running gave me purpose. It befriended me at my lowest, and has taken me to my highest. It never sways, it never says…”‘no you can’t”, it’s not partial to day or night, it doesn’t care what I look like, or what I wear. It just shows up when I need it… and guides me one step at a time. It listens without judgement, and it believes in me.

Running helped me break the chains, and fight for a new existence. It instructed me to do better. We all have crap in our mental closets. We stuff it away, we drink it down, we purge it up… over and over. 

What if we just do better? Don’t wait until tomorrow. Don’t excuse yourself to repeating patterns. Do better. Do something. Do it until you see that 7-year-old’s innocence again… and when you see her, tell her she was right. You can be anything your heart desires. The end.

Light Bringer.

Are you a light bringer and a world shifter?

I get it. No… like I really get it. I ask myself, am I really of this time and space? Has my brain been hijacked? Am I truly witnessing this world fall apart before my eyes?

What happened to the value of a dollar? The meaning of a handshake and its honor for trust. The family table at dinner time, and simplicity of holding the door for someone.

Every day I get challenged. My demons want to me to re-introduce myself. The whiskey bottle subliminally hovers, and the processed comfort foods beg for a chance to take their stronghold.

These things always resurface… coming up for just enough air to try pull me back down… to prove the vicious cycle can reset.

To shift and grow… to brighten and conquer… I must eagerly remind myself of the teachings of my sneakers… and this road.

The conditions are constantly changing. Things insidiously try to stop me from smiling, trick me into un-believing in my ability to play my part in making this world better, and knock me off course so the light dims and conceals my purpose to myself and others.

You have the ability to shine and shift today. Grace is here… there is no need to fight yesterday. Block the mental dimming switch, refuse to stay stuck, and inch your feet just a little.

You’ll ask yourself… will this really matter? To me? To others? The short answer is yes… someone is learning from you. Teach them well.

Talk to Your Heart.

Something on my heart today is… you. The messages just this morning alone I have received… they come flooding in with words like “Help, I can’t, I’m drowning, I’m trying, I’m lost, I’m lonely, I’m fat, I’m done, this scares me”… the list goes on.

The darkness of each of us is real. Goals we don’t meet. Disappointing news at our door daily, failed diets, health problems, divorces, addictions, all the profound uncertainties that we know we can’t control… yet each day we give them an open invitation to burrow inside us…striking that all too familiar feeling of unrest and discord.

Waking up and doing something is victory. Drinking one less drink, smoking one less cigarette, moving your body two more inches than you did yesterday is victory.

Saying no is victory. Saying yes is victory. Trying to outrun all that weighs you down will tire you, and eat away at the goodness of your core.

Sit with whatever it is… let the tears sting, and the saltwater cleanse… move toward grace and possibility with ease rather than breathlessness.

Talk to your heart. Find out what it needs. When life saddens me, or pushes me into heightened awareness… the Scorpio in me wants to fight… the empath in me wants to cry… but the soul in me wants to run. My answers are always in the asphalt, and the open road.

Find where your answers come from. Let it in… hold it tight… and know that your words are not lost on a message board, they are not unread… they are here.

I hear you. I see you. I believe in you. Now let’s get going… there’s work to be done.

“New Year, New You”

Sleepless nights. Tossing and turning. Hating my choices. Angry at where life “put me.” Feelings of low self esteem. Daily wars with my inner self. HATE. EAT. DRINK. REPEAT.

That was my life for years, only I did it in silence so I could isolate myself from penetrating words, good people, and the truth.

It wasn’t until the long distance sport of running taught me to be tougher than my demons. It taught me patience, and endurance. 

It taught me humbleness, and mercy. It taught me that a little daily discipline, coupled with passion, and a good diet could be the answer to unlocking the door and leaving my living hell, and a hell I chose to stay in far too long.

We all hear the same crap. “It’s a New Year, New You”… “Start tomorrow, today is over.” “I’m going to do it… just not today.” 

I’m here to tell you: today counts. This minute counts. You don’t need a new month, or new turn of the numbers to give you permission to become your greatest self. Our addictions, the errors of our ways, and our poor choices can only thrive if we allow them to.

Be done with your own crap. Take the good advice you give others but never follow yourself. Make YOU a priority, don’t over complicate it. Eat a vegetable, drink more water, and let your story tell itself.

Somewhere today someone is watching you. Be a good teacher, and be a kind human. That. Is. All.

The Little Things.

The sun is out for the first time in what feels like an eternity. Although the air feels cold, the sky above mixes hints of lighter and deeper blues.

Today I am appreciating the little things. These are things I am so very guilty of taking for granted daily. The sun hitting my face today feels like a gift. Being free and able to move my body and breathe clean air into my lungs is a gift. Being in a body that fights for us, heals… and forgives is a gift.

Feeling the “real feels” of all aspects of life is sometimes exhausting, and without a doubt a “not so subtle” reminder that we are not in charge, not guaranteed, not entitled, but beyond privileged in our being. 

How we choose to respond… how we negotiate, and our perspective, will absolutely enhance or derail our progress.

The corners of my mouth will stay upward today. Today is a good day.

Writing as Self Therapy – Self Guided Journaling Challenges Coming Soon

Run and write your way to a happier, healthier and more purpose-driven life. Sign up to hear from Suzanne via email. We’ll have some thought-provoking writing challenges, discussion groups and other empowering activities planned for 2022. Sign up for our emails here.

Rebirth

I awoke to a song faintly playing in my head: “The sun will come out tomorrow... Without much thought about it, I shot up to start my day. I went straight to the coffee maker and opened the unending cabinet of another addiction of mine… too many mugs!

There she was, staring at me. I carefully placed the mug down and began to think about this beautiful symbol’s meaning: healing, and a source of life.

This year is about to end. We have faced continued trying times… personal struggle, and world wide fatigue and crisis. I am tired, I am sometimes weary, I fight my daily battles. Yet each day, I begin with Hope.

I have dreams, and plans so big they can’t begin to fit on that lined notebook paper. I have athletic goals, and pipe dreams that are laughable to many… but to me are the very things that keep me sane, healthy, and appreciating health and wellness.

I refuse to carry the heavy BS into the New Year. It weighs a ton, reeks of self intoxication, and it’s not worth once of what defines me.

This time of year is made for re-birth. It is made for healing, for loving the people who make you better, and for leaving behind those who don’t.

Sip and be well. And remember, “The sun will come out tomorrow.”

Heal, restore, re-birth. Amen.

The Gray Area.

The Gray Area… is the place between black and white. It’s the place where truths are discovered, hurts are healed, tears are wiped, and love wins.

It’s the place that tore me apart, made me whole, begged me to stop and forced me to go.

It’s the place where hatred was laid to rest, forgiveness was born. Where the glistening of the pavement, and the sounds of my feet hitting it… set me free.

It’s the place where dreams are made, wishes come true, and miracles do exist.

Yes… I love color. I love all things beautiful and bright… but may we never forget the simplistic value of what we learn in between the black and white.

Blessings, Loves…

Transient Thursday

She took a trip deep inside her. She didn’t pack much for this day trip. She wasn’t staying long… her past asked her to sit, pull up a chair, and stay awhile.

She smiled softly with an all knowing that the overthinkers, the overwhelmers, the doubters, all the cunning games of her mind would soon enter the room for a visit too.

She allowed them all to sit and one by one she gave them an opportunity to pitch their deal of opportunity to her… if she chose to stay.

As she got up to leave they spoke quickly and desperately, asking why she was leaving so soon.

“I’m a transient guest today,” she answered.

“I respect what you have taught me. I acknowledge the things I cannot change, and I will never give up and allow you to hijack the contentedness that I cultivated from the cracks of light that you barely let in.”

My past is impermanent, my presence is joy, and my future is whatever I want it to be… and so is yours.

Know that the places we must visit from time to time are necessary. That sometimes to “become” we must “unbecome” first. That the dark places deep within us are often softer, and kinder than we think.

The greatest of your strengths are often built from the aftermath. Settle for nothing less than what brings you warmth, brilliance, and passion.

Shut the door on your way out,” the past screamed… and with her eyes she spoke:

“Think twice about inviting me next time… good day.”

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Whispers in the Hall.

They whispered down the hall at her. She could hear all the chatter. The “she’ll never be’s” and the “she wishes she was”.

She didn’t fit in. She didn’t know how. She was lost. She was lonely… she was afraid.

She questioned, she stood, she begged, she knelt… she waited… until her purpose was born.

To all those things that constantly try to break me, stop me, persuade me, and derail me…

You ain’t never seen what a little Irish, a little pavement, and a whole lot of belief that my creator knew how my journey would change lives can do.

You can stay stuck or you can fly… either way is painful, and not without sacrifice.

Which legacy do you choose to leave?

#RUNBEFOREYOUFLY

#Christmaskicks #wecanallmakeadifference

Transformation

Transformation is a continuous remodeling of the self.

For me to continue to gain self love, and move with an energized spirit… I know the work is never done.

The open road this morning makes me feel alive. It’s a space where all the cares, ideas, and negativity dripped on me from the day before can be pounded away with each release of my foot.

How good does it feel… when we can move with fluidity… all the while showing toxic people, damaging thoughts, and dream squashers that our joy, our drive and belief in the goodness of others and ourselves will continue to triumph?

It feels damn good…

Continue to transform today. Get up and get after it. There’s work to be done!

#RUNBEFOREYOUFLY #empowerment