Category: Healing from Trauma

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Mountain.

The climb in any journey is filled with uneven pavement, unexplored trails and pathways, and unexplained moments of both sorrow and joy.

I can’t stay stuck or complacent. I must wake each day hungry for change, thirsty to arrive at the doormat of peace, and eager to be a leader not a follower.

Seek to move mountains. Train to fulfill your greatest potential.

Do not settle for anything less than what brings you victory.

The summit of life reveals beauty and satisfaction… but it’s the climb that tells our tale of both resilience and determination. 🖤

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Running, and My Why for Doing It.

The essence of who I am begins with my why. Why do I fight so hard to try and change lives? Why do I fight so hard to stay committed to my health and wellness?

The Run to Change Lives family has been a warm and friendly place to share all our journeys, our sorrows, and our victories. It has been pivotal in me sharing my story, and offering hope to all those who are lost.

People ask me all the time, “WHY DO YOU RUN?”

I run when life is suffocating me, and the open pavement provides strength and air to breathe.

I run to pray for all of those who reach out to me for guidance… for those who feel as if their life has nothing left to offer.

I run in times of confusion, when I’m stuck and torn between the strings of my heart verses the soundness of my brain.

I run to dream. I hear the Boston Marathon crowd in my head.

I envision the spectators, I can feel the course, and close my eyes and feel the victory of this accomplishment.

I run to see God’s beauty and all the things that daily I take for granted.

I run to hear nature, and for a moment in time… just simply be in awe of how our earth spins, and that I get to be a part of it.

Finally: I RUN TO CHANGE LIVES. AMEN.

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Unstoppable.

This week has been a week of deep thought, release and reproach. Forgiveness of myself is something I’m often reluctant to strive for.

As disciplined as I am, it’s easy for to me to be to set in my ways, too hard on myself, and too one-sided in many areas of thinking.

This week I set some new goals for myself.

I promised myself more journaling time. I challenged myself to see a difficult situation in a forgiving light instead of an angered one.

I enjoyed some foods I usually scold myself for having… I allowed myself to loosen the lid of the pressure cooker of life.

There are familiar places, smells, sounds, and landscapes that enter my mind often and take me back to a time of comfort, peace, and solace. This week I reminded myself that to get to this place, I need to paddle with the current… not against it.

Be the love… be unstoppable… be understanding… be available for all the things that make you happy.

Don’t get caught in the riptide. Do not go against the flow, but work with the current to get you upstream to the destination of your dreams…

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Overcome, Not Over-Complicate.

The triad you see in this picture is all me, however each image reflects stages of my journey. Each picture depicts truth, and displays spiritual, emotional and physical transformation.

As a child, my smile was real. Happy thoughts of mud pies, laughing with my best friend, and reading my favorite books were all I needed. Life was simple. The cruel world, awful people, rotten concepts of thinking and hatred remained dormant and had not reared their ugly heads.

The middle picture was after life had truly pulled the rug. Negative influences, compiled with tremendous self-loathing was driving the car. Addictions to food, alcohol, and hating myself comprised my daily ritual.

I was stuck. I hated myself. I played the game, forced half-hearted smiles, and repeatedly begged for God to use me for good.

The last picture is a woman who found her joy, wakes up happy on purpose, and chooses to feel and experience all life will offer her. This road behind her has taught her that instant gratification is bullshit, and ordinary moments, wide-smiled surprises, and a random chat with someone at the grocery store is what life is all about.

Take time out today to do what you love. Be ever so gentle with yourself… but own your crap. Decide that today is the day you start over.

Overcome, not over complicate – and may who you are designed to be shine brighter today.

CARPE DIEM!! 🖤

#HopeDealer #AnyQuestions #runningmotivation

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The Next Right Thing.

So here’s what I’ve learned and what life has taught me. My transformation is far from over.

Life has taught me to accept that we are only as good as our choices. It has taught me that only our own hearts know our truest intentions. It’s taught me that exterior beauty doesn’t mean a thing if your inner soul sucks, and that we can only keep living and preaching our truth.

My road is still at times bumpy– and at times I could easily let 80 proof do what it does and numb what I think I can’t face… yet I don’t choose it.

I could let the lies and unkindness of others puddle around me…. yet I don’t choose it. I just need to continue to step my feet to the next right thing… and I know my destination will end at a place of wellness and joy.

Running saved my soul… but I chose to save myself.

Whatever you face today, and wherever you are in your personal transformation… keep doing the next right thing and may your journey tell a story of greatness 🖤.

#transformationtuesday #hopedealer #preaching

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Mental Reset

Today I am going to put some powerful work in and press the Ctl Alt Delete reset button of my mind.

When stresses accumulate, when toxic people show back up, when the ways and behaviors of this world are heavy on me… I need a reset.

It’s so easy for any of us to be persuaded back into old patterns of unhealthy eating. Invitations to our destructive habits and addictions can arrive wrapped in deceptive packaging.

Do not be fooled, and do not be led. Be the leader.

Take time today to meet yourself on the roads and trails of your life. Be grateful of where you are, be accepting of where you have been, and be hopeful of where you are going. When the anvils and pressures sit heay… hit Ctl Alt Delete. Clear your head space… and start over.

Every day we are given a new chance to re-arrange, re think, and re-adjust the choices and progress of who we are. Take your power back. Claim it, own it, and use it for good.

Our wealth, our health, and our prosperity are gained but only by the fruits of our labor. Grace is new every morning… and may this road, and these sneakers continue to be the steady ground that has changed my life.

CTL ALT DELETE RESET and GO.

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Sundays are for Slaying.

Good morning‼️ My feet hit the floor… my legs are strong… my mind is clear… and gratefulness is in action.

You can wake up miserable or you can wake up and tell your demons: not today, bitches 🤚🏻.

Be a sunflower today. Sunflowers stand stall, they are resilient, and they face the sun… but their journey requires endurance and withstanding much darkness of the soil first.

Whatever it is today… whatever is trying to bury you, trying to intimidate you… whatever isn’t serving you with peace and wellness… put your face to the light, stand tall, and show them… you are a sunflower.🌻.

Now, last sip of rocket fuel and we go… Sundays are for slaying.🖤

#earlyrising #milesandsmiles #slayinthemgoals #hopedealer

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Be the Change

💙BE THE CHANGE💙… This morning as I was lacing up to head out and enjoy the gift God has afforded me… I thought about something very important: the power of our words.

I can’t post names for obvious reasons of confidentiality… but I want to share this…

To the woman who sent me a private message yesterday, admitting for the first time that alcohol is overtaking her…. don’t give up. I have stood where you stand…. there is hope 💙.

To the person who private messaged me yesterday feeling the lack of self-worth and confidence to stand up to her own enemies… I have stood where you stand… there is hope. 💙

To the brave soul that messaged me yesterday who stepped on the scale for the first time in a year, feeling depressed, defeated, but with a new sense of purpose she hadn’t felt in a while… I have stood where you stand… there is hope.💙

To the man who has recently shared some of his life with me, the pain of not wanting to live, the deep hurts of overthinking, and wanting to numb himself from this world… thank you for revealing a part of you with me… and yes, there is hope 💙.

Our words our powerful. Kindness is free, and lending a helping hand can change the world… literally… one person at a time.

I don’t have all the answers. I struggle, I sit with heavy things, too.

I fear, I pray, I contemplate, I hope, I trust, I love. You want to see a better world? Then stop complaining and let’s “Be the change.”💙

This run is for the wonderful people who have touched my heart… you know who you are.

Now let’s get it!

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Run and Be Happy!

For me to become a better athlete, and keep churning at the handle of my personal and professional goals, to ensure my sobriety, and integrity… I need to always meditate to put life in its proper position.

Conflicting thoughts on nutrition, running gear, beauty products, financial plans, life strategies can cause massive chaos to our thoughts if we allow it.

People will always show up on your doorstep of life to inflict their opinions or “two cents” of *their* being into *yours.* Do not allow such individuals to interfere with the trajectory of your journey.

We face adversity together. We can get through uncertainties by the hands and bodies of our personal experiences, and by our very own truths we have allowed others to view.

When the road is bumpy, stay on it.

When you feel like you can’t run, walk, or jog another inch… go three inches. When you see the walls crumbling… believe that when that wall falls, it leaves a new space for unimaginable growth you never thought possible.

Today I am grateful what each of you bring to the table. Your stories, your jokes, your humility, your honesty, your progresses, your setbacks.

All teach us that we are listening…and we can overcome. We all motivate differently. We think differently, we run differently… we set different goals, and that is okay.

Today’s meditation brought up some superior points. Just do your best… don’t be a shitty human being… and never stop being who you are. 🖤

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16 Miles and Smiles.

She looked softly in the mirror at the woman she once was.

She forgave herself for all the lies she told and believed about her beautiful soul.

She made food her friend… using it to heal and fuel her body.

She said goodbye to her booze addiction that betrayed her beyond measure, but not without letting it see how much good she has used it to teach the world that healing and recovery are possible.

This morning she woke at 4:45 am to run 16 miles. She is disciplined. She is strong. She is kind. She is me.


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