Category: Healing from Trauma

Posted on

Can We Do Better?

I look at this triad that stares back at me and still to this day am unsure of its unfolding. I peer into the eyes of that little girl named Suzanne. 

Dreams of a 7-year-old are quite simple… the fairytales of my princess room seemed so life-like and doable. The genuineness to travel to space, meet my celebrity crush, and care for my baby doll as if her literal life depended on it, kept me smiling and full of life.

The adult years slapped me in the face with a darkness I wasn’t prepared for. The unforeseen devil in the bottle of whiskey, the lies of processed shit food, being overweight, and the hidden agenda of my mind… were to continually taunt me, shame me, and unravel every little good thing I wanted to believe about myself.

Today you will find me on solid ground, but with dreams that soar, and a heart that’s been mended. This didn’t come without tough lessons, steadfast trust, and a pair of sneakers. Those worn out treads have carried me miles and miles.

Running gave me purpose. It befriended me at my lowest, and has taken me to my highest. It never sways, it never says…”‘no you can’t”, it’s not partial to day or night, it doesn’t care what I look like, or what I wear. It just shows up when I need it… and guides me one step at a time. It listens without judgement, and it believes in me.

Running helped me break the chains, and fight for a new existence. It instructed me to do better. We all have crap in our mental closets. We stuff it away, we drink it down, we purge it up… over and over. 

What if we just do better? Don’t wait until tomorrow. Don’t excuse yourself to repeating patterns. Do better. Do something. Do it until you see that 7-year-old’s innocence again… and when you see her, tell her she was right. You can be anything your heart desires. The end.

Posted on

The Day is as Good as We Make It.

The day is only as good as we make it. I woke up… did my collagen shooter, laced my sneakers, and now it’s time to breathe in some wellness, and exhale some toxicity.

Habits and routines are a critical part of my day. The quiet of the morning, the ink of the pen, the blank page of my notebook paper come first. It is here where I set my intentions for this day.

I let go of what I can’t control, I do my best to forgive my shortcomings, and I let the gentle strike of my felt tip pen ease me into my day.

Seek to create habits that start your day without disruption. Seek approval only from the depths of your longing soul… not the opinion of others. Strive to make the words on your paper a reality, not just empty promises.

My sneakers are part of my story. The answers, the solace, the discipline, and the gratitude they have taught me continue to not only amaze me, but keep me aligned with my purpose… and steady me when I stumble and sway.

Simplicity and contentment are often in the lost and found. We always crave, uproot, and hunt more… for bigger or better. Today, let joy be found in something simple. Find contentment in the ordinary. There is plenty of goodness for you and for me. Go find it.

Posted on

Light Bringer.

Are you a light bringer and a world shifter?

I get it. No… like I really get it. I ask myself, am I really of this time and space? Has my brain been hijacked? Am I truly witnessing this world fall apart before my eyes?

What happened to the value of a dollar? The meaning of a handshake and its honor for trust. The family table at dinner time, and simplicity of holding the door for someone.

Every day I get challenged. My demons want to me to re-introduce myself. The whiskey bottle subliminally hovers, and the processed comfort foods beg for a chance to take their stronghold.

These things always resurface… coming up for just enough air to try pull me back down… to prove the vicious cycle can reset.

To shift and grow… to brighten and conquer… I must eagerly remind myself of the teachings of my sneakers… and this road.

The conditions are constantly changing. Things insidiously try to stop me from smiling, trick me into un-believing in my ability to play my part in making this world better, and knock me off course so the light dims and conceals my purpose to myself and others.

You have the ability to shine and shift today. Grace is here… there is no need to fight yesterday. Block the mental dimming switch, refuse to stay stuck, and inch your feet just a little.

You’ll ask yourself… will this really matter? To me? To others? The short answer is yes… someone is learning from you. Teach them well.

Posted on

“New Year, New You”

Sleepless nights. Tossing and turning. Hating my choices. Angry at where life “put me.” Feelings of low self esteem. Daily wars with my inner self. HATE. EAT. DRINK. REPEAT.

That was my life for years, only I did it in silence so I could isolate myself from penetrating words, good people, and the truth.

It wasn’t until the long distance sport of running taught me to be tougher than my demons. It taught me patience, and endurance. 

It taught me humbleness, and mercy. It taught me that a little daily discipline, coupled with passion, and a good diet could be the answer to unlocking the door and leaving my living hell, and a hell I chose to stay in far too long.

We all hear the same crap. “It’s a New Year, New You”… “Start tomorrow, today is over.” “I’m going to do it… just not today.” 

I’m here to tell you: today counts. This minute counts. You don’t need a new month, or new turn of the numbers to give you permission to become your greatest self. Our addictions, the errors of our ways, and our poor choices can only thrive if we allow them to.

Be done with your own crap. Take the good advice you give others but never follow yourself. Make YOU a priority, don’t over complicate it. Eat a vegetable, drink more water, and let your story tell itself.

Somewhere today someone is watching you. Be a good teacher, and be a kind human. That. Is. All.

Posted on

Serendipity

It is true what they say… that in years to come, the dynamics of your home will change.

This morning, the house is eerily quiet. The kids are grown and out of the house, and as loved ones have passed on… the flood of golden memories flashes through my mind of “how it used to be.”

My heart was broken this morning as this was the first Christmas my beautiful Oreo boy wasn’t heading up the charge to see if Santa brought him his doggie bones… wagging his tail excitedly.

It’s a damp, foggy, drizzly, gray morning here in the Northeast. The kind of day you wish you didn’t have a circadian rhythm that has had you up since 4… but nevertheless, I rise.

So I head out to do the thing that I know will make me feel alive. I lace those sneakers, let the cold drizzle hit my face, and set out to leave it all on the pavement. The pavement who knows the interior of my heart so well, and always has the unspoken answers, or the subtle way of showing me… “it is well with my soul.”

At the top of the hill, I approach a sudden reflection of such beautiful color and shimmer so bright it almost blinds me. I stop for a moment of think of the mess swirled together. It’s a mixture of oils, waters, light beams and refraction… just like life. Even with our chaos, and change, with its messiness, and shortfalls, with our deep heartaches or branded memories, serendipity always shows up at the greatest moments of need to teach us magic, and joy still exist… even on a foggy, dismal day.

As I turn the corner to finish the last leg home, I hear the echo of my father’s favorite song… “and I think to myself… what a wonderful world.”

Merry Christmas to all my beautiful friends and family. Find the serendipity today. It always shows up when you need it most.

Posted on

Let it Go.

She is a balance of raw strength and sudden weakness. She is a blend of deep seriousness, and a soft silliness.

She’s a space of deep darkness, yet with a light that draws others near.

As we gather within ourselves and prepare for another year, it’s time to release… time to purge. It’s time to clean out our closets of emotional clutter, and make room for nothing less that what heals us… what makes us well, and what radiates joy.

We all have “the things”… the imperfect relationships, the memory that holds us captive, the looking in the mirror sideways 100 times praying for just one day of actually liking ourselves.

We all pray silently for change. We dislike the cards dealt to us, but we continue to let others play our hand.

Look out into the unknown. See all the beautiful things that surround you. Release it there. Toss it away, and breathe new life into your purpose.

Emotional freedom is not free. It cost everything you have been through, everything both tragic, and lovely… but you are not required to re-up its subscription.

The greatest measure of courage is to release the past… forgive the poisonous people who do not expect it, and cultivate the new place where your beauty, your sense of freedom, and your dear life are claiming their power. Their strongholds have worn out their welcome… it’s you-time.

Onward, Loves…

Copyright Suzanne Swanson and Run Before You Fly. All rights reserved worldwide.

Join Us for the Peaceful Holidays Journaling Challenge

We love to write, and are pleased to bring you this simple, peaceful journaling challenge.

Thank you to those who have joined us for the Journal Your Way to a Peaceful Holiday Season 6-Day Writing Challenge!

Wanted to share a kind testimonial submitted by one of our participants:



“…This is very well put together. I appreciate the effort Dina and Suzanne are putting into this and so very glad I signed up.

Day 2 was really good for me and I felt I was really able to express myself. I look forward to the days ahead. Happy journaling to those that are doing so!”

-Melinda Sparks Ardoin

Holidays are busy for everyone. We hope that for the days leading up to Christmas you are able to bring it all together, and really engage in and enjoy the most precious parts.

Our journaling challenge can help you relax into the spirit of the season and there is no pressure, obligation or judgment.

Learn more and sign up here

Merry almost Christmas!
🤶🎄🎅♥️⛄🦌

Suzanne and Dina of Run Before You Fly

Posted on

Transient Thursday

She took a trip deep inside her. She didn’t pack much for this day trip. She wasn’t staying long… her past asked her to sit, pull up a chair, and stay awhile.

She smiled softly with an all knowing that the overthinkers, the overwhelmers, the doubters, all the cunning games of her mind would soon enter the room for a visit too.

She allowed them all to sit and one by one she gave them an opportunity to pitch their deal of opportunity to her… if she chose to stay.

As she got up to leave they spoke quickly and desperately, asking why she was leaving so soon.

“I’m a transient guest today,” she answered.

“I respect what you have taught me. I acknowledge the things I cannot change, and I will never give up and allow you to hijack the contentedness that I cultivated from the cracks of light that you barely let in.”

My past is impermanent, my presence is joy, and my future is whatever I want it to be… and so is yours.

Know that the places we must visit from time to time are necessary. That sometimes to “become” we must “unbecome” first. That the dark places deep within us are often softer, and kinder than we think.

The greatest of your strengths are often built from the aftermath. Settle for nothing less than what brings you warmth, brilliance, and passion.

“Shut the door on your way out,” the past screamed… and with her eyes she spoke:

“Think twice about inviting me next time… good day.”

Stay in Touch with Suzanne

Thank you for supporting my writing and running endeavors at RunBeforeyouFly.com. I’m Suzanne Swanson and I’d love for us to keep in touch!

Receive updates via email when you sign up here.

Posted on

Whispers in the Hall.

They whispered down the hall at her. She could hear all the chatter. The “she’ll never be’s” and the “she wishes she was”.

She didn’t fit in. She didn’t know how. She was lost. She was lonely… she was afraid.

She questioned, she stood, she begged, she knelt… she waited… until her purpose was born.

To all those things that constantly try to break me, stop me, persuade me, and derail me…

You ain’t never seen what a little Irish, a little pavement, and a whole lot of belief that my creator knew how my journey would change lives can do.

You can stay stuck or you can fly… either way is painful, and not without sacrifice.

Which legacy do you choose to leave?

#RUNBEFOREYOUFLY

#Christmaskicks #wecanallmakeadifference

Posted on

Timeless Tuesday

So you get up today and you say to yourself… ah S*#%, it’s just another Tuesday. You think about all the crap you did or didn’t do right yesterday. You punish yourself for the failed efforts of both personal and professional goals.

You let the television, the false promises of society, and the stigmas that have been branded into us for years take the lead role in your play of life.

I didn’t want to face reality. I didn’t want to stop guzzling whisky, I didn’t want to eat kale and superfoods. I wanted pity… I wanted comfort food, and I wanted to hide in my deep dark abyss of self loathing.

Get up… get dressed…. and get out of your own way. It’s not “just another Tuesday.”

Today can be the day of renewal, of starting over if you must, of making a list of crap you’re not tolerating and sticking to it.

Today is a day of uprooting all the nonsense, of reaching out for help, and finally putting you first.

Take special care today to forgive yourself. Know you are given grace each morning, and that small steps of determination will always win over large leaps of fear and uncertainty.

“Beautiful girl, you can do hard things.”

You’re damn right I can…#RUNBEFOREYOUFLY

#tuesdays #yesyouabsolutelycan


Journaling Course is Here!

Heads up for those interested in journaling for self-therapy, setting positive goals and welcoming an attitude of gratitude to ease stress and improve health overall.

We have a Peaceful Holiday Season journaling challenge all packed up and ready to deliver to you via email.

We’d love to have you on board for our illuminating writing discovery series. 

Learn more about this journaling challenge and sign up for the course here.

Know a Friend Who Would Love Suzanne’s Blog and Inspirational Group of Runners and Writers? Pass Them the Link to RunBeforeYouFly.com.

Receive inspiration via email from Suzanne. Sign up using the link!

Thank you for supporting my writing and running endeavors at RunBeforeyouFly.com. I’m Suzanne Swanson and I’d love for us to keep in touch! 

Receive updates via email when you sign up here.

Posted on

Seasons of Change

The snow flurries hit my vest. My fingertips are frozen, the wind whips across the bare skin on the back of my neck. And just like that, I am running into another season of change.

It’s natural for us to want things to stay steady. We get complacent. We get comfy-cozy in our steady-paced, uninterrupted lives.

We don’t like change, we un-invite ideas of challenge, and we settle for what happens to us, within us, without really fighting for what makes us feel alive, and worthy.

When the cold snap of life hits, the precipitation flies, and adaptiveness sets in… remember a few things.

Seasons of change bring elements of transformation. Awaken to the new day not just with a tolerance to accept what it brings you… but with a silent preparedness that you are here to dream big, take charge, and live a peace-filled life.

Invite the season in. Sit down with it, let your goals be known. And when it tries to pull you back, or divert you to unrest… zip up your armor and remind it just who you are.

#RUNBEFOREYOUFLY #seasonsofchange #wecandobetter

Journal Your Way to Insight, Happiness and Healing!

Journaling course is ready for you to explore!

Love to write? Ready to try journaling as form of self therapy? At Run Before You Fly, we’re inspired toward continued self betterment.

Join us for a group journaling adventure! We have an illuminating writing course for you to benefit from.

Journal solo. Share with trusted friends. Or, consult with Suzanne for a coaching session. It’s up to you.

Don’t miss discounted pricing on the new “Journal Your Way to a Peaceful Holiday Season.” This is a mini course that Suzanne and Dina are offering to our email list and Facebook group members!

We’ll have more courses coming in the new year. Sign up for our list to be notified of future writing workshop and course launches. 

-Suzanne and Dina