On Being Vulnerable.

Vulnerability is always staying in search of the light. It’s questioning the whys… it’s continual motion toward a direction of your inner truths, and creating an positive impact to those around you.

The in-betweens of the space you are sitting now and where you are headed are often filled with small miracles, daily victories, and subtle moments of learning and triumph.

It’s okay to sit in the gap of uncertainty from time to time, as uncertainty brings about more possibilities for growth.

It’s okay to not tolerate what you once allowed, and fight for a better tomorrow.

Pay attention. Seek to follow those who ignite you. Seek to follow those who give and not just take. Pay attention to acts of selfishness versus acts of selflessness. See in yourself what you want others to see in you.

You are the light… you are the miracle… and you are the force within yourself.

Embrace the hard… and it gets softer. Embrace the doubt… and it gets harder.

Onward.

Adapt or Transform?

Adapt and Settle? Or Erupt and Transform?

Lay down everything that is conforming you to stagnation.

Pick up your inner reasons, your dreams, and your spirit.

And when the “it’s not worth it”s, the “settle-for”s, and the “it’s not possible”s deliver their speech of fear and resignation…

…tell them I sent you. 👊🏻.

It’s time. Let’s make today into something wonderful.


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Finding Your Freedom.

Joy is subjective. How we reach it and what we choose to do with it when it lands in our arms is based on our beliefs and experiences.

This route I’m on tonight is a road I have walked and run countless times… the bends… the cracks and splits in the pavement… the familiar landscapes, and trees… the same fallen down fence, and tiny creek that has displayed both softness and fierceness, takes me through the pages of my personal story.

I have taken this road through many roadblocks, setbacks, and milestones. I have walked this road through tear-stained eyes of “just another” attempt at sobriety and healthy living.

I have prayed incessantly on this road for new beginnings and purpose. I have revealed my deepest secrets and regrets here, and have found overwhelming contentment is my success and healing.

Tonight, as I look to all the sights and sounds that have embraced all my metamorphoses… I am simply thankful that I get to tell my tale.

I get to give back and spread hope… and most of all, that my joy was not in front of me or behind me… it wasn’t beside me or gone from me… it was there all along… inside of me.

Scream your story from the rooftop… someway… somehow… someone needs to hear it. Amen.

A Glorious Mess.

She is a glorious mess of what-ifs and used-tos. She continually tells her story as if the whole world is listening. She is messy but kind… bold and deliberate… yet soft and purposeful.

She knows her endurance is neither too strong nor too weak… and she knows that to win her race of life, she must balance between raising the bar, and steadily pacing her feet.

Oh, how those inner voices try to persuade her that it won’t matter in the end… but she knows it will… she sees her goals… and she is going to continue to fight like hell to crush them.

When you stop dreaming, it’s over. See it… want it… believe it… and don’t you ever stop reaching for it.👊🏻

THAT IS ALL 💙.

Stops Along the Way.

The space between where you stand now and where you dream of landing is filled with many stops of uncertainty along the way. I am thankful for every setback, every tear, and plea of why me.

I am thankful for what my addictions allowed me to see, and why I never want to return there again. I am thankful to able to learn, and grow… to breathe and push my body to limits I never thought possible.

I am thankful for the first pair of running sneakers that humbled me… embarrassed me… and stayed patient as I navigated myself to a rebirth of health, appreciation, and love for the unspoken guidance of my paved roads.

Life wakes each morning with ten new reasons to quit, to surrender, to grumble, and to avoid. Be the one reason you prevail. Live thankfully… the end 👊🏻.

Yes, I Can.

June 16, 2017. She awoke with a pounding head… the kind of headache that was all-too familiar. Her mouth was dry, she was damp with sweat both from the booze and toxic food she put in body the night before trying to break their way out. Her tear-stained pillow was just another reminder of her shame.

She had screamed for help… only for her cries to be intercepted by lies, and defeat… shame and unrest.

The light in her bedroom was blinding. She could see the day was one of sun and glorious skies. She couldn’t move… frozen in time for what seemed like eternity, she turned her head to see them.

They were beautiful, full of color and hope. They were begging her, “Please just give us another chance. We won’t judge you, we’ll be patient, and we will show you… what you were meant to become.”

She hesitated… she wiped the last tear that drained. She dragged herself to the corner to where those sneakers would not stop staring at her.

“Tie the laces… get your hungover ass up, and go make a difference.”

I remember that day like it was yesterday.

I don’t know where you are today in your personal journey or transformations. I don’t know what you have been through, what you have hid in shame, sat with in regret… or begged for freedom of… BUT I DO KNOW THIS ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Whoever said you’re stuck is wrong. Whatever is holding you back can be broken apart and rebuilt.

And whenever you hear somebody say “No, you can’t…” the answer is always “YES, I CAN.” 👊🏻🖤

New Beginnings.

Spring exhibits mostly mud puddles, melting snow, and nature rising back to life. Spring is a chance uncover the long, dark, deep break of winter and start again.

New beginnings are often scary. We are creatures of habit. We are stuck in fly traps of addictions and bad habits. We tell ourselves our sanity lies in what we know… but does it?

I once fake-smiled my way through life. I was a yes-man for destruction, and a saleswoman for unhealthy. I made excuses not progress, and was drowning in tears of my internal unhappiness.

To begin again… drink from the well of goodness, not perfection. When you think you’re done… realize that you are just beginning. The obstacle course of life will be there. Negative people and ideas will be there. Take one strand of hope, one heap of faith, and one pinch of self-worth, and watch your mind and body change for greater good.

Spring is here. A chance to wash away all that doesn’t serve you, and renew your vow to yourself. Renew… Repurpose… Respond to your highest calling 👊🏻.

May this season of re-birth be our best yet.

Seek Your Soul

Each day as the darkness lifts and the light of morning approaches, the driver of our mind is eagerly awaiting to criticize, underestimate, and drop us off at the destination of fear, and uncertainty.

The mental chatter starts… the banter between self-love and self-sabotage gets louder as it bullies us into confusion. And before we even make it to the coffee maker… we feel defeated.

It’s hard to trust ourselves at times. Joy becomes more difficult to cultivate, and the beauty within us gets hidden in our deteriorating exterior world and circumstances.

This morning as I close my eyes and breathe in all that I am yet to become… I am beyond grateful for those opportunities to give back and serve.

I forgive what I cannot change. I accept where my reserved seat in life is at present… and I thank my creator for allowing me to be teachable in my erroneous ways.

Things will not always make sense. Life is fascinating, and difficult, beautiful and tragic. Joyful and miserable, lonely and full… but today, breathe into what you know and desire.

Seek kindness and happiness for you and others. Seek wellness and contentment. Seek your soul… seek to be better…💙

Life is waiting. Isn’t it time?

Obedience Vs. Obstacles.

She was a lone survivor of her own maladies for many years. Day in and day out, she shuffled through the overcast world of her mind. Sure, she could find little segments of normalcy in between her constant starring role titled You’ll Never Get Out of This Place… but nevertheless, she prayed.

She had belief systems that were false. She had been led down a road that taught her life was mainly full of negatives, and that magic and splendor were only for magazines and television. The alcohol and processed food pled their case daily… promising her a comfortable place to unpack all her loneliness.

She continued this ludicrous pattern of destruction for years until one night in the darkness of trying to rest, a voice echoed in her mind. “Seek obedience to overcome your obstacles.”

You cannot repeat the same pattens of dysfunction and expect a new result. Yes, you can become unstuck from the fly trap of your demise. But this doesn’t come without obedience within yourself.

It doesn’t happen without a battle between good and evil, necessary versus unnecessary… a mix of laughter and pain.

When your desire is working in you, there is nothing capable of stopping what you can become. Something will always show up trying to halt your progress, and keep you trapped. Stay obedient to yourself. Fuel your body with goodness, and allow your reflection to tell the story.

Nevertheless… she prayed.

She is right here. She is me. She is 5 years sober. She is healthy, and fit. She can be you, too. Don’t give up.

The Art of Alignment

Did you ever wake up and think how did I get here? What is life trying to teach me? And why must I stay on this path? For me, this is something I ponder with curiosity almost daily.

As I always try to move forward with Integrity and Intention… my mind wanders back to “all the things.” The whys and ways of my old life. The demand to myself of changing my habits and body. The rawness of exposing my booze addition, my previous obesity, and the hallway of self-sabotage I was trapped in.

The efforts of searching and trusting what nutrition I choose and what supplements I will make a priority in taking are all things that as I age and gain wisdom… become of utmost importance. Alignment happens when we stay in agreement with ourselves… not the wishes of others!

Alignment happens when we pray, we manifest, and we know that the people, friends, acquaintances you are connected with are pivotal in reaching your dreams and goals. The sport I love more than almost anything, has connected me with the most amazing humans. Hard work, grit, sacrifice, kindness, are just the tip of what we have in this community.

Whether you are a runner, walker, swimmer, biker, hiker, yoga teacher, friend, family member, or just along to learn and grow… know your purpose is important, the language of life you speak will be the enlaced in your legacy.

We all hide from reality. We don’t like to talk about the hard and messy things. We believe we can do it alone, we choose mediocrity every time. Find time for readjustment and alignment. Work hard to hustle for what you know is yours and claim the possibility of loving life.

I will be looking for those ready to align with me… to take chances, and discuss visions of only goodness, wholeness and wellness. We can’t do it alone… but together, we can rise 💛. May your attention be on your alignment and may only goodness cover you.